#RushTok: The Staggering Ways Sorority Moms Support Their Daughters

Pop that sorority squat—it’s time for rush. 

During the beginning of a new academic year, numerous college students are eagerly getting ready to participate in the age-old custom of pledging a sorority or fraternity. Social media platforms like #RushTok have shown that this ritual for entering Greek life is becoming increasingly competitive. Amy Sergeant experienced this firsthand as she accompanied her daughter Abigail to the University of Mississippi.

Amy admitted to People in her August 28 interview that she wasn’t entirely sure about the process. She explained her confusion: “There are eleven sororities to choose from, but you only get to select eight. If none of the eight choose you, can you add three back? Or can you not add any? What are the rules?

In my life as a lifestyle expert, I’ve come to understand the importance of being mindful when interacting with our loved ones, especially children. For instance, my husband and I strive to avoid bombarding our daughter with numerous questions, as we don’t wish to create a frustrating atmosphere for her.

Now, in my professional capacity as a flight attendant cleared by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), there are certain restrictions in place that prohibit me from having or using TikTok during my work hours. This limitation unfortunately makes it difficult for me to help find answers to queries when I’m not off-duty, but I make every effort to provide assistance in other ways when I can.

Abigail found the process of joining a sorority, particularly at a Southeastern Conference (SEC) school, to be significant. In fact, it was so important that Amy observed her daughter making changes to her social media profile in anticipation of sororities, even before she started attending Ole Miss.

Abigail along with her friends attended a concert featuring the artist Kesha. According to Amy, they didn’t share a single photo because, despite wearing suitable attire that included Kesha-themed glitter shirts and shorts, they decided not to post anything online.

According to Amy, they said, “Let’s avoid posting on social media… We don’t want someone from a sorority mistaking our style for what we typically wear.

In light of this, Amy chose to give her full support to her daughter from their residence in Maryland. She teamed up with Becky, the mother of Abigail’s roommate Isabelle, to celebrate their shared dream of joining a sorority for their daughters.

Instead, they made an effort to write daily notes reflecting their activities, but they remained mindful of the expenses involved in each undertaking.

Amy explained, “We found prices ranging from $100 to $600 each day. And our reaction was something like, ‘Wow, that’s quite a stretch for 13 days!’

To ensure they wouldn’t think everyone else was enjoying these things while they weren’t, the pair of mothers opted to move forward with their plans.

During the inaugural day of rush, known as “Greek Day,” Abigail and Isabelle were presented with Kendra Scott bracelets adorned with Greek eye charms by their parents. On a rest day, they received self-care packages containing items such as face masks, foot masks, and a $50 GrubHub voucher. Amy and Becky also had Crumbl cookies delivered, accompanied by a note that said, “Take some time for yourself, unwind, stream Netflix, order Grubhub, and recharge.

In the end, Abigail’s hard work paid off when she became a member of Alpha Delta Pi on Bid Day – her preferred sorority. Amy was overjoyed to witness this and even more so because now Abigail has found a place where she truly belongs.

Curious to learn more about rush? Keep reading. 

As a devoted admirer, I can’t help but express my appreciation for the illuminating documentary by HBO Max titled “Bama Rush.” This captivating production offered an unparalleled glimpse into the sorority recruitment process at the University of Alabama. Remarkably, this insightful portrayal ignited a global buzz on TikTok in 2021, amassing an astounding viewership of over half a billion worldwide.

In essence, what’s the process like for this week-long event? It consists of four main parts: an open house, where participants gather; a philanthropy segment, focused on charitable activities; a sisterhood phase, promoting unity and bonding among participants; and lastly, the preference round, often simply called “pref.

The entire process leads up to Bid Day, when potential members assemble at Bryant-Denny Stadium and are handed an envelope revealing the sorority they’ve been extended an invitation to join.

Prospective new members are often abbreviated as PNMs, and they need to fulfill certain requirements to be chosen. These include demonstrating a good first impression, engaging in meaningful conversations, aligning with shared values, and excelling in their academic pursuits.

During the Rush period, sororities will cast their top preference votes at the conclusion of each round, while potential new members (PNMs) are simultaneously choosing their preferred sororities. This entire process leads to a climactic final ceremony for the current sorority sisters, where emotions run high and making choices is difficult, as observed by Chi Omega member Cameron Carley in the documentary.

If you’re interested, Dr. Diana B. Turk, a professor at New York University, discusses the origins of the fraternity/sorority process following its establishment in the United States in 1904.

In simpler terms, Dr. Turk explains that the sorority felt a sense of urgency to prove their excellence among other campus groups, leading them to act quickly. Upon the arrival of new students, they would enthusiastically greet them at the train station, attempting to charm and persuade the top students from the incoming class.

Absolutely! There are indeed coaches available who help Potential New Members (PNMs) navigate their way through the recruitment process, and two of these coaches are notably highlighted in the documentary.

Trisha Addicks shares how her unusual journey – getting dropped during her freshman year and then being recruited by her preferred choice as a sophomore – qualifies her as an exceptional consultant for those aiming to follow in her footsteps. According to Trisha’s Instagram, a mentorship with her is priced at $3,500, while participating in a seminar will cost a PNM $650.

Sloan Anderson, the creator of the coaching program named “Crush,” shared some tips on how to effectively engage in casual conversations during open houses. She advises steering clear from discussing topics that fall under “the five Bs”: avoiding discussions about fraternities (or boys), abstaining from mentioning alcohol, refraining from delving into religion, keeping money-related subjects at bay, and avoiding political debates (particularly those involving President Biden).

Sloan clarified that Public Network Members are absolutely free to discuss diversity and the Black Lives Matter movement. However, she cautioned against probing into their political allegiances, as such queries can put individuals on the spot and create an awkward situation for them.

“A positive attitude and priority for chapter spirit is essential and expected.”

Upon joining a sorority like Sigma Kappa in 2020, one of numerous regulations sisters are expected to adhere to includes the rule mentioned above, which also prohibits wearing Greek letters while consuming alcohol. Additionally, it’s said that at least one sorority requires its members to fulfill two out of these three conditions before leaving their dorm: properly styled hair, applied makeup, or appropriate attire.

Rian Preston, a member of the Sigma Kappa sorority, states that joining such a group early on tends to instill the idea that “‘Indeed, you’re an individual, but you are a Sigma Kappa before anything else.'” In essence, she clarifies that being a woman is secondary; being a Sigma Kappa woman takes precedence. This notion encapsulates much of what sorority life entails – it’s essentially about identity and affiliation, or as she puts it, “it’s all about branding.

At The University of Alabama, although no official ranking exists, it is generally agreed upon that certain sorority houses are highly esteemed. For instance, Zeta Tau Alpha, Phi Mu, and Alpha Delta Phi are often seen as the most sought-after sororities, according to common belief.

Elizabeth Boyd, author of Southern Beauty: Race, Ritual, and Memory in the Modern South, states that “Rush” represents an unmatched social stratification through ritual, which serves as a battleground for competitive femininity.

According to Rush consultant Sloan Anderson, the ranking system is based on the fraternities.

Essentially, Anderson explains, they maintain a social schedule and interact selectively with certain sororities, but these interactions are restricted in number. Moreover, the fraternities aim to mingle with the most attractive sororities, ensuring that the sisters who bear their insignia meet their high standards.

Sigma Kappa member Rian is aware that her sorority is considered one of the less desirable houses.

She acknowledges that the structure of sororities in place here significantly shapes your involvement in the Greek system. In a top-tier sorority, privileges abound: You gain access to test banks for exam preparation, network within the sorority is stronger, and potentially, there’s a more advantageous male perspective.

At the University of Alabama, the sororities were formally integrated as recently as 2013. However, it’s worth noting that the Panhellenic Association, to this day, is primarily composed of white students. As reported by the university’s newspaper, The Crimson White, in spring 2021, approximately 89% of potential new members were white, while they made up about 85% of the total undergraduate population. Approximately 1.3% of the pledges identified as Black, according to the paper, with a higher percentage – 97%, to be precise – of Black potential new members who completed the recruitment process receiving bids compared to any other racial group, as The Crimson White pointed out.

In a concise manner, Bama Rush delves into the historical background of the Divine Nine – a group comprising nine prominent historically Black Greek-letter organizations. Notably, among these are Alpha Kappa Alpha, the inaugural African-American sorority to establish its presence on Sorority Row.

Rian, who identifies as biracial, discussed her reasons for hastily exiting the Divine 9. “I believe being a member of a D9 sorority requires a connection to history,” she expresses. “Despite growing more confident in my racial identity, I still feel I wouldn’t belong there due to my upbringing by white parents. I suppose they would have welcomed me, but I think I might not have felt self-assured enough to enjoy the sorority experience that I would have been content with.

In my role as a lifestyle advisor, I myself have encountered instances of microagressions, and it’s truly enlightening to share stories that resonate with such experiences. One such story is that of Mikalya Miller, one of the document’s Prospective New Members, who bravely speaks about the challenges she faces as a biracial woman.

Mikalya remarks, ‘People seem to notice you particularly if there’s even a hint of color in you.’ She adds, ‘I suppose it feels a bit uncomfortable.’

One intriguing subject tackled in this documentary is the clandestine organization known as The Machine, or Theta Nu Epsilon, which encompasses representatives from all 27 Greek houses on campus. As per the documentary, these members convene secretly within the basement of a fraternity house to discuss and decide matters related to campus governance. This includes topics such as elections, selection of the homecoming court, and allocation of football tickets.

In 1983, as a newly elected independent Student Government Association President, I found out that my phone was being tapped. This prompted an investigation by the FBI. Later on, from 1993 to 1996, our Student Government Association faced suspension due to reports of a non-Machine candidate for student body president allegedly being attacked, as reported by the Associated Press.

At that moment, school officials asserted that there was evidence pointing towards the Machine as the culprit, however, the group’s leaders maintained their innocence. Harry Knopke, the vice president for student affairs, stated then, “When incidents are characterized by violence, it’s a clear signal that something needs to be addressed.” He later noted, “There seems to be a subtle connection related to the Machine, which we will delve into further.

Through the motto of “Little is revealed, and what is known is hidden,” the secrets behind The Machine were unveiled by a former member, Alex Smith, who was a Phi Mu alumna. In 2015, she penned an op-Ed piece for The Crimson White, sharing her experiences as a senator.

In the documentary, Alex expresses that it felt incredibly sinister and unattractive, while also mentioning that she felt manipulated into making particular choices, much like a puppet being controlled.

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2025-08-28 23:47