Samson Mow Sees Bitcoin Surging as Tariffs, Rates, Capital Flight All Hit at Once

In a stroke of administrative bravado that would make even a bureaucrat blush, the Trump administration declared on an April day that duties on Chinese goods have ballooned to a mind-boggling 145%. After a whimsical 90-day tariff siesta, this new decree is in full swing. Mow likened the whole shebang to an alchemical mix-up—a potential rise in interest rates brewing alongside Bitcoin’s bullish spell. 📈 He mused:

When trade surpluses that once sojourned in U.S. Treasuries dwindle, it’s inevitable that interest rates will begin their upward jig. In short, Bitcoin is bound to soar higher than a particularly ambitious dragon. 🐉

Then, with a wry twist of the eyebrow that only a seasoned seer could muster, he declared: “I can scarce decide whether the aim is to lower the 10-year rate for a debt refinancing makeover, or to crank it up and hurl us into a realm of hyperbitcoinization so strange it would bewilder even the most jaded wizard.” 🤔

Ever the contrarian, Mow also took a swipe at the idea that towering tariffs would magically resurrect U.S. manufacturing jobs. “I have yet to hear exactly how these heroic tariffs on China—touted as our victory cry—will conjure jobs and production in the U.S., when raw materials become pricier than dragon scales, engineering talent is as rare as a proper cup of tea at Ankh-Morpork Guild meetings, and manufacturing infrastructure is but a wistful dream,” he quipped. 😂

Not stopping there, our intrepid Mow lobbed another verbal fireball at Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent’s notion that small businesses might miraculously spearhead an industrial revival. One must wonder how Main Street is expected to budget for factories, recruit workers, or even muster a sliver of infrastructure amid such economically dubious conditions. 🏭

When Bessent offhandedly suggested removing Chinese stocks from U.S. exchanges—a remark that sent fiscal ripples through the ether—Mow cautioned of consequences that even a seasoned troll would dread. “This quip has second-order effects waiting in the wings,” he observed. “While the enlightened bitcoiners see the portent, the common folk remain blissfully certain that central systems will always play nice. If Chinese stocks can be shown the door, why should Chinese investors feel cozy about U.S. securities? U.S. Treasuries are losing their safe-haven charm faster than a wizard’s rabbit in a hat trick gone awry!” 😱

Once you untangle the logic, a massive migration of Chinese capital to Bitcoin becomes the inevitable punchline—only made funnier by the impending devaluation of the RMB. 🤣