Sassy Stocks: Why Perpetual Strike Preferred Might Just Make You Richer Than Jeff Bezos 😉💸

What’s All the Fuss About Preferred Stock?

Ah, preferred stock—the middle child of a company’s financials. Stuck between the rebellious common equity and the straight-laced debt, it’s the go-to for companies craving stable capital while avoiding drama. Think of it as that one friend who’s always reliable but occasionally skipped out on your dinner plans because life happens.

Here’s the deal: Preferred stockholders get their dividends before the common folk, but let’s not pretend they aren’t second fiddle to bondholders in a liquidation. They provide predictable payouts—imagine a $2,000 par value with a 10% annual dividend bringing in a neat $200 per year. Cha-ching! But don’t get too comfy; during financial hurricanes, boards can freeze dividends, leaving shareholders like, “What just happened?”

Still, preferred stocks do bring some shine: juicy yields, potential for equity upside through conversion options, and, best of all, no pesky voting powers—because who wants to sit through a five-hour shareholder meeting anyway? 😳

Now, let’s break these into two personalities:

• Perpetual Preferred Stocks: Basically, “till death do us part” with dividends, forever and ever… or until the issuer gets buyer’s remorse and buys these back.
• Non-Perpetual Preferred Stocks: More of a “here for a good (but fixed) time, not a long time” vibe. These have maturity dates.

Did you know? Back in Feb. 2025, MicroStrategy rebranded as Strategy because apparently “Bitcoin Obsessed” wasn’t as catchy. They even made their logo a Bitcoin symbol. Subtle. Very subtle. 😏

Perpetual Strike Preferred Stocks: AKA the Unicorn of Finance 🦄

If regular preferred stocks are the team players, perpetual strike preferred stocks are the quirky MVPs that combine endless dividends with a bit of spicy conversion drama. They keep giving and, unlike your ex, won’t ghost you with a maturity date.

Here’s the breakdown:

• Perpetual: These stocks keep doing their thing indefinitely. No maturity, no expiry, just… commitment (unlike most of us in relationships 🙃).
• Strike: Think of it as the stock’s “glow-up” moment—convertible into other securities at the right price. It’s like saying, “I’ll keep being fabulous, but I can mix things up too.”
• Preferred: They’re still the VIPs of dividends and payouts—classier than your average common stock but without voting power. Democracy is overrated when you’re here for the cash payouts. 💁

The specifics depend on the agreement because, apparently, stocks come with more terms and conditions than your average app download.

Strategy’s Perpetual Strike Preferred: Bitcoin Obsession Turned Up to 11

Strategy, formerly MicroStrategy, is pretty much that friend who can’t stop talking about their Bitcoin portfolio at brunch. Since 2020, they’ve spent $9.9 billion snapping up BTC—and honestly, we’re all just nodding along at this point. 🤷‍♀️

Fast forward to Jan. 30, 2025: They announced their 8.00% Series A Perpetual Strike Preferred Stock (STRK), pricing shares at $80 a pop. These launched on Feb. 5 and now strut their stuff on Nasdaq. 🌟 Oh, and holders can convert them into Strategy’s class A common stock if the mood strikes. Convertible cash vibes, anyone?

They issued 7.3 million shares to raise billions—but don’t be naive. It’s all destined to buy more Bitcoin, like that person who keeps saying, “This is my last crypto purchase,” but we all know the truth.

Why preferred stock and not debt? Simple—this way, Strategy keeps their leverage ratio looking all prim and proper while still making it rain Bitcoin. 💵➡️₿ Genius or madness? We’re still deciding. 🤔

Wait… So How Do These Stocks Even Work? 🤷‍♀️

Dividends That Might Keep You on Easy Street

Here’s the math: STRK stocks pay an 8% cumulative dividend. Translation? Even if Strategy doesn’t pay your quarterly dividends on time, they stack up like your emails after a week’s holiday. 📬 Better still, if they stiff you for eight quarters, you get to elect board members. Sweet revenge, am I right? 😈

Conversion Dreams: STRK’s Glow-Up Potential

Own a STRK share? You can flip it into 1/10th of a Class A share for a cool $1,000 a pop. That’s some serious transformation vibes à la makeover show finales. 👗✨ But be warned: you’ll only be allowed to flex this during specific times—like the finance world needed an extra dose of drama. 🙄

What’s In It for Me (And Strategy)?

For you? Glamorous fixed returns and a shot at converting to common stock. For Strategy? Less debt, more Bitcoin. Win-win. 🎉

Did you know? As of Feb. 2025, Michael Saylor announced on X (formerly Twitter) that Strategy holds a jaw-dropping 471,107 BTC. That’s over $30 billion worth of “we didn’t sell any Bitcoin, thank you very much.” Talk about commitment. 🙌