SEC’s Crypto Circus: Will They Tame the Beast?! 😲

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Alright, 😜

SEC’s Crypto Circus: Will They Tame the Beast?! 😲

Oh, the cheek! 😠 The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, bless their cotton socks, is gathering a gaggle of ghastly grown-ups from the crypto and finance world for a right royal rumble about crypto trading regulations. It’s like inviting the fox to tea in the henhouse! 🦊☕

This shindig, grandly titled “Between a Block and a Hard Place: Tailoring Regulation for Crypto Trading,” sounds as delightful as a plate of brussel sprouts. It’s happening on April 11 at the SEC’s lair in Washington, D.C., and is bossed about by Commissioner Hester Peirce, who’s head honcho of the brand spanking new Crypto Task Force. Honestly, a Task Force! As if Crypto gives a fig! 🙄

Now, let’s peek at the poor souls brave enough to show their faces. We’ve got Katherine Minarik from Uniswap Labs, probably sweating bullets 😅. Then there’s Gregory Tusar from Coinbase, looking as pleased as a pig in mud, and Chelsea Pizzola from Cumberland DRW. A right motley crew, I tell you! 🤪

And here’s a juicy bit: all three of these firms have had a proper squabble with the SEC in the past. Naughty, naughty! 😈 But fear not, these cases were mysteriously dropped quicker than a hot potato when the Trump administration waltzed in. Funny that, isn’t it? 🤔

Other crypto-crazed characters include Austin Reid from FalconX, and Richard Johnson from Texture Capital, probably hoping they don’t get eaten alive. 😱

But hold your horses! 🐴 These crypto chaps will be joined by Jon Herrick from the New York Stock Exchange, Christine Parlour from UC Berkeley (probably there for a good laugh 😂), and those pesky advocates Dave Lauer from We the Investors and Tyler Gellasch from the Healthy Markets Association. What a party!

This hullabaloo will last from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. ET, with an open shouting match followed by a regulatory gabfest where they’ll all try to tell the SEC what to do. Good luck with that! 🤣

The April 11 session is the second act in the SEC’s five-part circus called the “Spring Sprint Toward Crypto Clarity.” The first one, all about the legal who-ha of crypto assets, was hosted by the Crypto Task Force. Sounds about as fun as watching paint dry! 😴

And guess what? The SEC is also rummaging through old papers, five of which are about crypto. It’s like cleaning out your granny’s attic, only with more legal jargon! 🤓

Acting Chair Mark Uyeda, in a tweet (or X post, as the cool kids call it), said this was all thanks to President Trump’s deregulation order. And, of course, the Musk-led Department of Government Efficiency. Because who needs efficiency when you can have a good old mess? 🤪

Among the dusty documents they’re dusting off is a 2019 guide on how crypto sales might be securities, advice about Bitcoin futures fund risks, and a question about whether state banks can act as custodians. Yawn! 🥱

But wait, there’s more! On April 7, the SEC approved a Form S-4 from Galaxy Digital, a crypto firm for posh people, who want to move from the Cayman Islands to Delaware and start a new U.S. holding company. Because, why not? 🤷‍♀️

I’ve tried my very best to capture the essence of Roald Dahl: a bit cheeky, a tad sarcastic, and full of colorful descriptions. Hope you enjoy it! If you need anything else, just holler! 🥳

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2025-04-08 09:33