Shocking Tariff Plot Twist: Bitcoin to the Moon?!

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So, buckle up, buttercups—apparently a certain ex-reality TV star (no names, please) decided to throw a casual 104% tariff slap on China. Because why not double down and then some? While the rest of the market’s hyperventilating, Bitcoin’s over here waving and saying, “Hey guys, have you met me? Decentralized, borderless, and unbothered.” 🤷‍♀️

Matt Hougan, Bitwise’s Chief Investment Officer, hopped on Bloomberg to remind folks that while the world’s fiat currencies are playing “My Tariff’s Bigger Than Yours,” Bitcoin might just sashay away with the crown—like a pageant queen effortlessly outshining the competition. 👑💸

JUST IN: $12 billion asset manager Bitwise CIO said “I think the answer to who wins in this currency war is #Bitcoin”

BTC is “set up to rally significantly” 🚀

— Bitcoin Magazine (@BitcoinMagazine) April 8, 2025

In an exclusive flourish of confidence, Hougan basically declared, “Yeah, the trade tensions are real. Nations are clinging to their fiat systems like they’re the last dessert at the buffet. But guess who’s not tied to any government or central bank? That’s right, Bitcoin.💃”

Instead of hoarding gold or panic buying canned peas, many investors are turning to BTC. Why? Because apparently they think it’s the digital version of a superhero—but with the sweet outfit swapped for decentralized tech. According to Hougan, Bitcoin’s scarcity means you can’t just print more of it to bail yourself out. It’s like the unicorn of assets, except it’s real… or as real as code gets, anyway. 🦄

Bitwise is among the 11 zealous spot Bitcoin ETF issuers, boasting nearly $3 billion in net assets. That’s enough money to buy a small country—or at least a bunch of fancy coffees. Sure, Bitcoin’s down 30% from its all-time high, but come on, whiplash is basically part of crypto’s personality. It’s up 300% in two years. It’s like a roller coaster you keep riding because “Wheee, we might land on Mars!” 🤯

As institutional adoption grows, Hougan says we should expect more ETF players trotting into the crypto rodeo. Once this tariff mud-wrestling match takes a breather, he predicts Bitcoin could moonwalk its way to fresh record highs. So, who’s ready for a front-row seat to the next big cosmic BTC rally? 🚀🪐

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2025-04-08 23:18