Behold! SoFi (NASDAQ: SOFI) has unveiled a grand new scheme to send cash across the globe with the swiftness of a prairie dog on a skateboard, all while charging less than your average bank-though we all know banks are as reliable as a squirrel with a wallet. 🐿️💸
The service will harness the arcane powers of Lightspark, a mystical entity that whispers secrets of the Bitcoin Lightning Network and Universal Money Address (UMA) to make transactions flow like a river of gold. Sofi aims to be the first U.S. bank to dabble in blockchain, which is about as thrilling as watching paint dry-unless you’re into that sort of thing. ⚡🌍 The service will initially cater to transfers to Mexico, with plans to expand to other nations, presumably after they’ve finished their coffee. SoFi’s platform promises full transparency on exchange rates and fees, which is like promising a rain-free day in a thunderstorm-optimistic, but not exactly guaranteed. 🌦️💰
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2025-08-20 12:57