Telegram’s $300M xAI Deal: Is It Just Hot Air? 😂🚀

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Telegram’s $300M xAI Deal: Is It Just Hot Air? 😂🚀

In the quiet shadows of the digital realm, Telegram, the cloud’s whispering ghost, finds itself tangled in a web of hopes and formalities. A mere $300 million deal with Elon Musk’s secretive machine, xAI, promises the stars—yet, like a crumpled paper plane, it struggles to lift off. Who knew that agreements in the tech cosmos required such delicate paperwork? 🤷‍♂️

There, amid the tweets and smoke signals, Durov and Musk declared a handshake—well, almost. The words echoed: “We agree,” but the ink and signatures still dance in the future’s fog. Telegram’s founder, perhaps overexcited, announced summer dreams of AI chatbots, claiming “the best on the market,” while Musk chuckled from the sidelines, narrating the grand comedy of unsealed folders and pending signatures.

The Great Deal or Simply a “Maybe”?

On a supposedly sunny day, Durov proclaimed that come 2025, users would engage with Grox, an AI marvel. Meanwhile, the company’s wallet would swell with Elon’s golden dollars—$300 million, cash and shares, all hush-hush, like a secret affair. Half of the subscription riches would drip into Telegram’s coffers—sweet revenge against the digital void. “Together, we win,” he said, probably unaware that Musk was already busy rewriting the script with a well-timed tweet. 📝

“Deal? What deal?” Musk’s words sliced through the cloud, revealing that no papers had been signed—just dreams and maybe a few emojis. Durov nodded, confirming that the heads had nodded, but the ink had yet to meet paper’s tender embrace. The grand handshake remains a ghost in the machine.

Money Moves and Bondings

Meanwhile, the saga thickens—Telegram seeks to raise a monstrous $1.5 billion through bonds. Big names like BlackRock, Mubadala, and Citadel watch eagerly, perhaps betting on the next big digital circus. The bonds promise a 9% yield—a tempting potion, should Telegram choose to go public and let investors turn debt into shiny shares. A merry game, played with future riches and hopes of debt buybacks, all while the coins and cryptocurrencies dance to the tune of scandal and speculation. 💰

And the cryptocurrencies? Token Toncoin surged wildly on the news, only to fall back in a moment of truth—proof that even digital money enjoys a good soap opera. The drama continues, as the shadows of deals, deals yet to be sealed, cast long over the virtual horizon. Who really knows what’s real in this game of smoke and mirrors? 🤔

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2025-05-29 09:52