The Great FTX Heist: $11.4 Billion in Cash Reserves to Save the Day?

The Great FTX Heist: $11.4 Billion in Cash Reserves to Save the Day? 🤑💸

The Great FTX Heist: $11.4 Billion in Cash Reserves to Save the Day?

As the great Russian bard once said, “The wind howls, the trees creak, and the creditors weep.” But fear not, dear friends, for FTX, the bankrupt crypto exchange, has a surprise in store for its main group of creditors. It seems they’ll be getting paid, with a big fat check, courtesy of the $11.4 billion cash reserves amassed after the exchange went down the drain. 💸

According to Business restructuring lawyer Andrew Dietderich, the payouts are scheduled to begin on May 30th, like a Russian winter, cold and unforgiving. But don’t worry, it’s not all bad news. FTX will be using its cash reserves to reimburse major creditors, who had millions of dollars stashed in the platform prior to its collapse. Ah, the memories! 🙄

Meanwhile, smaller creditors, categorized in FTX’s “Convenience Class”, started receiving distributions in February, like a gentle spring breeze. But let’s be real, it’s not like they’re getting a refund on their Russian nesting dolls. 😂

In October, a US bankruptcy court greenlit FTX’s plan to distribute between $14.7 billion and $16.5 billion worth of payouts to the crypto exchange’s former customers. It’s like a game of Russian roulette, but with more math. 🤯

The plan calls for 98% of the exchange’s creditors to receive approximately 119% of the value of their holdings on the day FTX filed for bankruptcy in November 2022. Ah, the sweet taste of redemption! 🍰

The increased payouts are thanks to crypto prices and FTX’s 8% stake in the AI (artificial intelligence) safety and research company Anthropic. It’s like a Russian nesting doll of complexity, but with more AI. 🤖

FTX imploded and filed for bankruptcy amid accusations that its then-chief executive, Sam Bankman-Fried, mishandled the exchange’s funds by loaning out billions of dollars worth of customer deposits to Alameda Research, the firm’s trading arm. Ah, the classic tale of a Russian oligarch’s hubris. 🤑

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2025-04-01 20:01