In the shadowed corridors of power, whispers grow louder-like weeds after rain. Once again, the tale reemerges, fresh as a daisy and just as fragrant, about the mysterious Mr. Satoshi Nakamoto-either a CIA puppet or a hostage in some clandestine game. But amid these headlines, another story stirs from the depths of obscurity: David Schwartz, Ripple’s CTO, a man whose past includes a stint with the National Security Agency – because, of course, the government has a flair for recruiting the most unassuming while hiding the truly interesting secrets.
Three years ago, Schwartz, with all the seriousness of a man who knew nothing of the secrets he guarded, dismissed rumors that Satoshi was an agent or a pawn of the CIA or NSA. His words echoed-alas, not echoing much-about how he simply followed the rules and didn’t see anything too fascinating to share. “I have no idea,” he said, as if in a ploy to sound like he was a mere nobody, “They didn’t let me keep a copy, and I don’t remember if I ever knew.” Well, isn’t that comforting? 😂
“I just hope nobody really cares anymore. Plus, I never really knew anything all that secret.”
– David ‘JoelKatz’ Schwartz (@JoelKatz) October 23, 2025
When they dug through past interviews, it turned out Schwartz was mostly busy ensuring that the software he worked on was fancy enough to meet some obscure agency standards-standards so secretive that even he wasn’t allowed to peek behind the curtain. The kind of work that screams ‘completely boring, but vital for avoiding catastrophic data leaks,’ or so he claims. His stories of seeing his pouf of code on Discovery Channel-think of it as the behind-the-scenes of espionage-ended with a shrug: NATO used the code too, but bless their hearts, it was all “pretty boring.”
Asked when his NDA might finally expire-an expiration date as elusive as Bigfoot-Schwartz joked that he never really knew much to begin with. Clearly, a man who’s seen enough to walk the line between truth and fiction, yet chooses the safety of “I really don’t remember.” Does it matter? Maybe. Or maybe the truth is hiding just out of reach, behind a veil of government smooth talk. Either way, it’s a story for the ages, wrapped in layers of sarcasm and served with a side of dry humor. 🤣
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2025-10-23 20:02