Oh, dear Bitcoin, once lofty and exalted, now finds itself sinking below the hundred-thousand mark – a tragic descent to the underbelly of the cryptocurrency world! All this following the audacious stroke of a pen by none other than President Donald Trump, who, with all the flair of a misguided artist, decided to impose import tariffs upon the innocent goods of China, Canada, and Mexico. Ah, how the mighty have felt the weight of tariffs!
In this grand farce, it appears that our dear Bitcoin has been caught in the crossfire of international retaliation. A most befuddling spectacle for the crypto aficionados! Imagine a market divided, like the souls of men faced with moral dilemmas, each side grappling with the existential question: Will this tariff tantrum lead our beloved crypto into a pit of despair or a renaissance beyond our wildest dreams?
According to the grand declarations emanating from the White House, Trump is pulling the reigns, implementing a ~25% additional tariff on imports from Canada and Mexico, not forgetting the delicate 10% on imports from China. And let’s not forget! The precious energy resources from Canada will only suffer a modest penetration of tariffs. How generous! 🤷♂️
With grand proclamations about holding nations accountable—an effort to halt the scourge of illegal immigration and the nefarious flow of fentanyl—Trump’s actions are more akin to trying to stem a river with a sieve. Ah, but the inflation is rising, much like the hot air of our orators, leading to higher interest rates and a heartfelt embrace of the more traditional assets. As if bonds in the hands of the anxious investor could soothe the agitated soul! 🧐
The Retaliatory Ballet: A Clash of Nations!
How swiftly the three nations retaliated, akin to an opera that no one wished to see yet could not leave! Justin Trudeau, with the gravitas of a Shakespearean hero, declared a 25% levy on over $106.5 billion worth of US goods. Oh, the drama! And in a fit of bureaucratic vigor, China was said to be preparing a complaint to the World Trade Organization (WTO)—how very diplomatic! 📜
Meanwhile, our fiery Mexican President, Claudia Sheinbaum, made her intentions clear through a lengthy social media proclamation, instructing her Secretary of Economy to execute “plan B”—which sounds incredibly covert, but may just involve tariffs and non-tariff measures. Who could have thought international economics could be so thrilling? 🎭
And here lay Bitcoin, trembling at the edge of crisis, slipping beneath the $100,000 threshold for the first time since the 27th of January, teetering at $99,540, a lamentable position for the once-championed asset.
What calamity! The futures were grim, with $22.70 million in long positions liquidated in mere hours—a heart-wrenching affair for all who dared to dream of crypto glory.
Divided We Stand: The Crypto Conundrum
Alas, the crypto industry is now split as if divided between heaven and hell! Some sages, like Dan Gambardello, scoff at the notion that Trump’s tariffs and memecoins have obliterated the bull cycle. Indeed, he states, “How preposterous! It cannot be so simple!”
Yet others, like Bitwise’s own Jeff Park, embrace the chaos with gleeful anticipation, believing a sustained tariff war could be just the ticket for Bitcoin’s future fortune. Meanwhile, Adam Cochran, in a rather grim fashion, insists that Bitcoin has failed to disconnect from the global markets, likening it to “triple-levered tech.” How morose and yet how true! 😩
Oh, what pain and existential dread, all around! Yes, dear readers, it seems we are not merely spectators but participants in this grand tragicomedy of errors, where hope flickers like a dying candle amidst the clamor of tariffs and economic wrangling. Let us watch, and perhaps chuckle, as we endure this most absurd of realities. 😂
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2025-02-02 08:24