They Ditched Walmart and Meta for Crypto Yields? You Won’t Believe What Happened Next!

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Once upon a time, there was a platform named Sensible – claiming to let you rake in “up to 8%” on your crypto deposits, as if money grew on blockchain trees.

Coinbase Snatches Up Sensible’s Minds – Because Why Build When You Can Buy Genius?

Jacob Frantz and Zachary Salmon, the crypto world’s daring duo, have been scooped up by Coinbase-a move so predictable it almost makes you yawn. The they-were-once-meta-and-walmart-elites turned crypto saints, now officially part of the corporate machinery in what the press calls an “acqui-hire.”

In the year 2022, when the world still dreamed of lambos and moonshots, Frantz leapt from Meta product management, and Salmon ditched his Walmart engineering throne. Together, they birthed “Sensible,” a name whispering sweet nothings about reason in a chaos-driven market – as if crypto could be anything but a grand lottery sponsored by hopeful fools.

Deposit your precious coins and earn yield – “up to 8%,” they said, like it was an invitation to a deluxe buffet. This wasn’t just smoke and mirrors; Coinbase itself, through its minion Coinbase Ventures, threw some coins into the fire. Dragonfly, the venture firm sounding like a mystical protector of crypto treasures, also waved its checkbook.

But as the old startup adage goes: Grow or die. Sensible will fold – a gentle curtain fall on a brief tale – while Frantz and Salmon don new cloaks as Coinbase employees. No longer startup swashbucklers but corporate knights endeavoring in DeFi quests from behind a desk.

“Zak and I began Sensible in 2022, driven by a holy creed that tech is best when it empowers mere mortals,” Frantz proclaimed on X, the modern town square of pith and paradoxes. “We dreamed big in crypto, armed with our pedigree, hoping to gaze upon the chaos with fresh eyes.” Fresh eyes, indeed. Somewhere in the cosmic joke of finance, the fresh eyes blinked and joined the empire they once sought to disrupt.😉

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2025-09-10 06:57