This Woman Stole $5.7M—Wait Till You Hear How She Got Caught! 🤯

So, there’s this woman—let’s call her a “creative entrepreneur with questionable ethics”—who managed to siphon off a whopping $5.7 million from the crypto exchange Bybit. How, you ask? Microsoft Excel. Yep, she weaponized spreadsheets. (Take note, accountants. 😏)

The Singapore court wasn’t exactly impressed by her “creativity” and handed her nearly 10 years of reflecting on her life choices behind bars. Nine-years-and-eleven-months, to be precise—because clearly that one month makes all the difference. 🚨

But wait, it gets juicier. Ho Kai Xin (our spreadsheet vigilante) used to lead the payroll team at WeChain, a firm processing salaries for Bybit employees. And boy, did she “process” them! 🚀 She funneled more than $5.7 million into her own four crypto wallets—like a digital Robin Hood, except she kept everything for herself and bought a penthouse. Classy.

In court documents, prosecutors hinted at the obvious: “She got away with it once and thought, why not make this my full-time job?” And honestly, who among us hasn’t been tempted to update ‘professional fraudster’ on LinkedIn after a bad day at work? 🫠

You’d think someone stealing millions would keep a low profile, right? Nope. Instead, she went all Louis Vuitton lifestyle, splashing over $750,000 on a penthouse deposit and accessorizing with bags, rings, and shoes like the Bond villain we’ve always wanted but didn’t ask for. 💎🚘 Oh, and she bought a Mercedes. Because of course she did.

Bybit did manage to claw back $1.1 million in stablecoin Tether (USDT) and some extra change from her bank account—way to cut your losses, guys. But there’s still a whole lot unaccounted for, and Ho doesn’t seem super keen on whipping out her chequebook for Bybit anytime soon. Shocking, right? 🤷‍♀️

Now, you’d think this would be the end of the fiasco. But no—she was already in jail for contempt of court when Singapore delivered her latest sentence. Turns out, spending stolen money after you’ve been specifically told *not* to… is frowned upon. Who knew? 🤔 Her 10-year sentence will kick in after she finishes her current stint. Talk about multitasking!

The Crime Scene: Spreadsheet Edition 📊

Here’s how she pulled it off: Ho handled payroll processing for about 900 Bybit employees. She’d casually tweak the Excel files to allocate money owed to… her own crypto wallets. Bold move. Over $4.2 million found its new home in her secret accounts. 🤑

But she didn’t just stop there. Luxury became her middle name—think Louis Vuitton accessories and a $3.7M penthouse dream. Oh, and let’s not forget her elaborate cover story where she tried to pin the whole thing on her imaginary cousin, “Jason Teo.” That’s right, folks—when in doubt, blame the fictional family. 📖

Her defense lawyer argued that it was all just a “lapse in judgment” and requested she serve a slightly shorter sentence because hey, sympathy points—she has two kids! Cute argument, but maybe spend less time defrauding and more time on PTA meetings?

So, here we are. Bybit might never see the missing millions again, and Ho’s taking her spreadsheet superpowers to prison—where they likely won’t need payroll wizards anytime soon. She’s officially in her villain arc, complete with a Mercedes and an Excel file that could probably crash your computer.

Let’s all take a moment to reevaluate our life choices the next time Excel eats an unsaved file. 😂

2025-02-21 08:00

The Crime Scene: Spreadsheet Edition 📊

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