Once upon a time in a land of cryptographic wonder, where Bitcoin and its merry band of altcoins frolicked through the digital fields, a harbinger of doom, also known as a top trader, proclaimed that the Federal Reserve-those esteemed wizards of monetary policy-might just trip over their own shiny shoes. And oh, how the market wobbled! 🚨
A Cry in the Dark
Just when you thought it was safe to invest again, a little hint of optimism floated through the air, as hopes rose that the Federal Reserve might graciously sprinkle some rate cuts upon the enchanted land of currency. Pondering Polymarket gave it a solid 71% chance, while the enchanted CME FedWatch tool flaunted a confident 85%. 🍀
These whimsical odds came leaping forth after the U.S. unveiled weak nonfarm payrolls data, revealing that only 73,000 jobs had materialized in July. Meanwhile, the unemployment rate threw a little party as it reached 4.2%. 🎉 What highs and lows! It’s like a soap opera, but with numbers!
Then came the data on the consumer price index, which remained as unchanged as a statue on a sunny day at 2.7% in July, leaving Wall Street analysts scratching their heads like confused chickens. They had been expecting an uptick to 2.8%, which just goes to show you the folly of expectation.
Enter the protagonist of our tale, Sven Henrich, popular trader extraordinaire! He issued a cautionary tale warning that the Fed might bieng about their doom by cutting interest rates too soon, all while pointing to the rising core inflation as if it were a dragon threatening his castle.
“Covid aside, core inflation is at a higher level than at any time in the past 25 years. And it’s ticking up; tariff effects are yet to fully manifest.
Last time I checked, the Fed’s stated inflation target is still 2%.
Based on data, they shouldn’t cut.”
– Sven Henrich (@NorthmanTrader) August 18, 2025
In a whimsicality reminiscent of a fantasy novel, Powell of the Federal Reserve continued to preach the gospel of being data-dependent. Rarely has there been a more riveting spectacle than a group of tightly-suited men interpreting economic statistics like ancient runes.
But wait! There’s talk of stagflation creeping up like a cat burglar in the night-high inflation and weak economic growth, forcing the Fed to choose between the devil and the deep sea. Will they cut rates and risk high inflation, or hold onto them like a toddler with a favorite toy and invite recession for tea?
Bitcoin’s Price Pattern: More Drama Than a Shakespearean Play
Behold the weekly chart! It resembles a volcanic island right before it erupts, as Bitcoin’s price teeters on the edge of a sell-off that could send altcoins into an abyss of regret. The chart has formed a giant rising wedge pattern, and as those lines inch closer, one can almost feel the tension in the air thickening like an overcooked stew.
Adding to this melodrama, a bearish divergence has formed, with the Relative Strength Index and MACD falling faster than the odds of your favorite underdog winning the race. Should the Fates decree it, Bitcoin may very well crash below the hallowed ground of $100,000, promising much wailing and gnashing of teeth among altcoin companions.
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2025-08-19 20:18