- The U.S. Strategic Bitcoin Reserve boosts global government interest in cryptocurrency adoption. 🚀
- Deutsche Bank sees Bitcoin as a “hard reserve asset” with strong diversification potential. 🏦
Alright, so let me get this straight—Trump decides to create the U.S. Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, as if regular reserves weren’t complicated enough. And now, governments are scrambling to get their hands on digital magic internet money. Fantastic. Just fantastic.
Apparently, this is a “pivotal shift.” Sure! Let’s put all our eggs in a basket that doesn’t even exist physically. Makes perfect sense. 🤷♂️
The advantage of Trump’s Strategic Bitcoin Reserve
Oh, and let’s not forget Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong, who’s practically giddy over this. He’s seeing “institutional interest” left and right. Yeah, because nothing says “stable investment” like a currency that can swing 20% before your coffee gets cold. ☕
He said,
“In the wake of the U.S. Strategic Bitcoin Reserve launching, we’re seeing many more take an interest.”
“Many more,” huh? Real specific, Brian. Thanks for clearing that up. 😒
He added,
“Across federal, state, and local, Coinbase now works with 145 government entities in the U.S. and 29 government entities outside the U.S.”
Oh great, now we’ve got bureaucrats playing with Bitcoin. What’s next? NFTs for federal lunch programs? 🥪🖼️
Apparently, this is all going swimmingly for Coinbase, which was struggling with the SEC just a hot minute ago. What a turnaround. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s crazy enough to work—or blow up spectacularly. Who knows? Either way, grab some popcorn, folks. 🍿
Deutsche Bank joins the trail
Now Deutsche Bank is chiming in—because you know, if there’s one institution we can all trust, it’s a bank. Totally no history of shenanigans there. 🙄
They’re comparing Bitcoin to gold. Gold? Really? Last I checked, I can’t misplace a bar of gold on a USB drive. But here we are. 🧐
Deutsche Bank analysts are swooning over Bitcoin’s “resilience.” They’re saying, “never suffered a security breach.” Yeah, because hacking bitcoin itself is easy! The hackers are just stealing it from everyone else. Brilliant loophole! 🎯
“By holding Bitcoin long-term, the US aims to strengthen its leadership in the global digital economy and potentially hedge against inflation or dollar depreciation.”
In other words: “We don’t know what’s going on, but we’re gonna pretend we do.” Solid plan, guys. Real solid. 👏
Oh, and Franklin Templeton chimed in too. They think Bitcoin might “offset national debt.” Sure, as long as Bitcoin keeps going up… forever. No way that could go wrong. 🚀💥
What’s more?
But wait, there’s more! Trump’s executive order inspired Senator Cynthia Lummis to reintroduce the BITCOIN Act of 2025. Yeah, an actual act called the BITCOIN Act. Subtle, guys. Real subtle. 🤦♂️
The plan? Buy 200,000 BTC every year for five years. Oh, and hold them for twenty years. Because, yeah, a currency with a price chart that looks like a roller coaster is exactly what we need for long-term stability. 🎢
Meanwhile, Polymarket says there’s a 34% chance Trump pulls this off in his first 100 days. Really? 34%? That’s… not nothing, but it’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, is it? 🧐
Oh, and Bitcoin? It’s sitting at $83,383.96. Modest 2.31% recovery. Yeah, “modest,” like the way a hurricane is “breezy.” Can’t wait to see where this goes next. 🤷♂️
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2025-03-13 20:14