Trump’s Crypto ETFs: Because the World Needed More Drama 🚀

In a move that surprised absolutely no one (except maybe the people who still think NFTs are a good idea), Donald Trump’s media empire, TMTG, has decided to wade into the murky waters of cryptocurrency ETFs. Partnering with Crypto.com, the company is launching a series of funds under the delightfully ironic brand name Truth.Fi. Because nothing says “truth” like a man who once claimed windmills cause cancer. 🌬️💨

These ETFs won’t just be your run-of-the-mill crypto funds. Oh no, they’re throwing in industries like energy, because why not? After all, if you’re going to gamble your life savings, you might as well do it in style. Bitcoin and Cronos will be the stars of the show, with Crypto.com’s broker-dealer, Foris Capital US LLC, handling the logistics. Because nothing screams “trustworthy” like a company with “Capital” in its name. 💼

We are excited to announce that we will partner with Trump Media for ETFs, including a first of its kind ETF basket of cryptocurrencies, including #CRO and other crypto assets.

— Crypto.com (@cryptocom) March 25, 2025

Devin Nunes, TMTG’s CEO, assured the public that these ETFs will focus on companies dedicated to growth, free from political influences. Because if there’s one thing Trump Media is known for, it’s staying out of politics. 🙃 Nunes also emphasized that the goal is to support American values and economic expansion. Translation: buy these ETFs, or you’re unpatriotic. 🇺🇸

Crypto.com will handle the backend technology, custody services, and crypto asset supply. CEO Kris Marszalek revealed that the ETFs will be accessible worldwide, including in the U.S., Europe, and Asia, through the Crypto.com app, which serves over 140 million users. That’s 140 million people who can now lose money in style. 📱💸

The ETFs are expected to launch later this year, pending regulatory approval. Because nothing says “smooth sailing” like waiting for the SEC to give you the green light. TMTG also plans to introduce Separately Managed Accounts (SMAs) under the Truth.Fi brand for more tailored investment options. Because why settle for one bad decision when you can make several? 🤷‍♂️

And if that wasn’t enough, Trump’s business portfolio includes World Liberty Financial (WLFI), which recently introduced a stablecoin on BNB Chain. Because nothing says “liberty” like a cryptocurrency tied to a volatile blockchain. With these initiatives, Trump Media is now diversifying its operations in both the conventional financial sector and the blockchain industry. Because when life gives you lemons, why not turn them into a speculative asset? 🍋📈

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2025-03-25 07:01