Get ready for the main event, folks! The one and only Donald Trump, America’s favorite showman-president, is about to pull the curtain on his “Liberation Day” shindig at 4 p.m. ET, straight from the Rose Garden. Markets are doing the jitterbug—equities, gold, and even the mighty bitcoin are all caught up in the dance. Let’s break down the chaos and see if we can make sense of this economic hoedown.
White House: ‘Wall Street’s Got This’—But Does It Really?
The 47th President, Donald ‘The Tariff King’ Trump, is about to drop a bombshell with his “reciprocal” tariff plan, designed to shake up the global trade party. Tariffs, for those living under a rock, are basically government-level party poopers that tax imported goods. Trump’s saying this will free the economy from its overseas shopping addiction and bring jobs back to the homeland. Proposed rates range from a flat 20% to custom percentages based on the exporting country’s attitude.
Trump’s betting the farm that these tariffs will close the trade gap, but Dems, economists, and analysts are rolling their eyes so hard they might need an ice pack later. Goldman Sachs has upped the recession odds to 35%, which is like saying there’s a 35% chance it’s going to rain during your outdoor wedding. Experts warn of higher costs, supply chain snafus, and the possibility of a global trade slap fight.
Trump’s urging us to buy American, and “Liberation Day” is still being polished up, according to the White House mouthpiece. Every time Trump hints at tariffs, the markets go nuts, like a cat with a laser pointer.
“Crypto’s feeling the jitters ahead of ‘Liberation Day,’ even though tariffs and crypto are like oil and water,” says Chris Chung, the big cheese at Titan swap platform. “Investors are treating crypto like a tech stock on a rollercoaster, and it’s a wild ride.”
Trump’s playing the long game with tariffs, but if inflation goes off the rails, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride for all risk assets.
Bitcoin’s been doing the moonwalk, from $84,600 to $85,800 by 10:30 a.m. ET. The crypto market’s up 2.11%, and stocks are doing a delicate dance. Gold’s up a smidge, and everyone’s waiting for Trump’s big reveal.
“Investors are on edge about tariffs,” says Susannah Streeter, money and markets guru. “The markets are like a cat on a hot tin roof, waiting to see if Trump’s plan will be a hit or a miss.”
Markets are holding steady for now, but Trump’s speech could turn this dance into a mosh pit. The White House says “Wall Street will be just fine,” but we’ve all seen enough movies to know that’s usually when everything goes sideways.
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2025-04-02 18:57