Trumpy Tariffs or Market Meltdown? A Bizarre Bitcoin Plunge 🤯

Behold, dear reader, how our beloved Bitcoin chose this most inauspicious Monday to somersault into a 10% decline, as though it stumbled over a stray chicken on the dusty road. Rumor has it that President Trump’s tariff quarrels, brewed in a colossal teapot, have unsettled half the planet’s financial souls, causing even the stoutest hearts to wail.

Indeed, in a spectacle worthy of a tragic-comic play, America’s stock market ended last week in a miserable slump, while Asia staged a lively morning drama. The Nikkei 225 sank 8% (some say it wept quietly), and China’s Hang Seng tumbled 13% off the opening bell, as if it slipped on a banana peel thrown by an unsuspecting market clown. 🤡

Cryptocurrencies, never to be outdone in theatrical flair, gallivanted right into chaos. Bitcoin, that mischievous spirit, danced from an $83,400 high down to $74,800 in a matter of hours, as if it couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry at the news. This jestful descent may remind the world how Bitcoin puffs up with pride when times are good, only to moan woefully once tariffs come knocking.

Its devotees, wide-eyed and hopeful, observe that our dearest coin is merely responding to the chaotic heartbeat of geopolitics. A 10% plop? Quite the comedic footnote, reminding us all that its price can move like a skittish goat. At present, the coin rests at $74,739—down a gentle 10.15% in 24 hours—while the trading volume soared a hearty 283%. One wonders if the volume soared right back out the window, cackling all the way. 😏

In some corner of our comedic stage, Bitcoin was expected to rebound valiantly at $81,000. Alas, it tripped mid-performance and now lurches onward toward $73,800—said to be the next magic carpet of support. And if it loses that perch, perhaps we’ll all be whisked back to those quaint pre-election days of yore. 🤔

With heads shaking, the onlookers see hopes of a sturdy bounce vanish quicker than a plate of dumplings at a farmer’s feast. Soon, the crowds murmur that fresh comedic misadventures may await if the American stock markets open in a most catastrophic or comical fashion.

Bitcoin on Death Cross; Could it be a bottom?

In our theatrical cryptoverse, predictions swirl. Some stagehands surmise Bitcoin shall remain gloomily in a long-term bearish production. Enter HoneyXBT, the crypto analyst who proclaims a “death cross” looming on the 10-day chart—like a ghostly figure creeping just offstage. This so-called death cross occurs when a short-term moving average crosses below its longer-term colleague, hinting that the show may continue downhill. 😱

here’s some hopium for you ~ BTC

— Honey (@honey_xbt) April 7, 2025

But fear not, dear onlookers, for the same wise oracle also doodled a “bottom” annotation on the chart (perhaps in invisible ink?), suggesting the market might stand upon a comedic pivot, reminiscent of August 2024. Alas, back then the U.S. election added a pinch of carnival flair to the mix. Without a fresh spectacle now, our plucky protagonist may lack the impetus to jump back into bullish euphoria.

Stay tuned as the U.S. stock market unlatches its gates, letting in all manner of bulls, bears, and curious onlookers. Should they waltz into a cheerful soiree, Bitcoin might mark its bottom with a resounding flourish. Otherwise, we hold our breath, anticipating the next comedic twist in this cryptic drama. 🤷‍♂️

2025-04-07 10:30

Bitcoin on Death Cross; Could it be a bottom?

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