Vitalik Buterin: ETH Treasuries Are Magic (But Don’t Bet the Farm!) 🪄💸

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Behold, the crypto circus rolls into town, and here we have Vitalik Buterin, the mad alchemist of Ethereum, waxing poetic about “treasuries” while clutching his beard like a prophet of chaos. “Valuable services,” he declared, as if the blockchain had just invented the wheel. Or perhaps a wheel made of Ether. 🐉

In a Bankless podcast interview (because why not?), the man who gave us Ethereum casually mentioned that these “treasury firms” are like the Swiss Army knives of crypto-useful for everyone from gold-plated investors to the man who trades his soul for NFTs. “More options,” he said, as if diversity in financial tools wasn’t already a *thing*. Or maybe it’s a thing now, thanks to Vitalik’s divine inspiration. 🎩✨

“ETH treasuries are good,” said Buterin, with the gravitas of a man who’s seen the future and it involves more ETH in more places. But then, in a twist of irony thicker than a Bitcoin block, he warned: “If I wake up three years from now and ETH is gone… it’ll be because someone turned this into a casino.” 🎰

– Vitalik Buterin, probably regretting he didn’t just write novels

Currently, these “treasury firms” hold 3.04 million ETH-enough to make a small country weep over its empty piggy bank. Bitmine Immersion Technology leads the pack with 833,000 ETH, followed by SharpLink Gaming and The Ether Machine. One wonders if these names were chosen by a drunk poet or a crypto influencer on a sugar high. 🤡

Caution: Leverage Is a Dragon You Can’t Tame 🐉

Buterin, ever the cautious optimist, warned that leverage is like a Russian nesting doll of doom: open one and another pops out, screaming “I’M BROKE!” He mused that a price drop could trigger a domino effect of liquidations, turning the market into a game of Jenga with a million ETH bricks. “Not Terra,” he said, as if comparing the two were like saying a teacup is not an ocean liner. 🚢

“If I wake up in 2028 and ETH is gone… it’ll be because someone turned this into a casino.”

– Vitalik Buterin, probably regretting he didn’t just write novels

At $3,930, ETH dances like a man trying to balance on a tightrope, while treasuries grow like mold on the cheese of speculation. One can only wonder if this is the future of finance or just a very expensive fever dream. 🌀

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2025-08-08 07:47