Wall Street Bets on Bitcoin: Are We All About to Get Super-Rich or Just Cry in Crypto?

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Big Crypto Money Floods Bitcoin – Bankers Suddenly Wish They’d Listened to That One Nerdy Cousin 🧐

According to experts like Matrixport and chart-whisperers like Willy Woo (not a puppet, despite the name), Bitcoin is getting prepped for a glow-up in 2025. ETFs are backing it. Investors are smiling like they just found $20 in their winter coats from last year. And institutions? Well, apparently they’ve stopped pretending crypto is “just for internet weirdos.” But hey, let’s not pop champagne yet—if more than 90% of holders are making money, things could go from “Lambo dreams” to “why did I remortgage my house for Shiba Inu” real quick.

Stats, Charts, and That “Sinking Feeling” Metric

Look, Bitcoin’s supply on big exchanges (the places people sell their coins in panic) has dropped to a 7-year low. That’s according to CryptoQuant, who apparently exist solely to make everyone feel like they missed the best entry point. Only about 2.492 million BTC left on exchanges! That’s fewer coins than the number of gym memberships abandoned by March each year. Last Friday it was 2.488 million. Wait… Did someone just deposit a little?

More numbers: 85% of Bitcoin’s supply is now “in profit.” Translation: Nearly everyone’s group chat has a new self-declared financial guru. At 90%+ profit levels, these guys warn we might reach “historic euphoria,” which, like tequila shots, often ends in regret. 🥴 So keep your celebratory hats next to your crash helmets.

Just last week: 56,164.88 BTC magically disappeared from exchanges, says Coinglass. That’s investors grabbing more coins and tucking them away like squirrels pre-winter, reducing the number of coins available for panicky sellers. Spoiler: less supply + more hoarding = Number Go Up Math™.

But wait—there’s more! CoinShares claims a casual $3.2 billion just poured into Bitcoin funds in late April 2025. Good vibes, strong hopes, and at least one intern googling “early retirement yachts.”

If You Think It’s Bullish, Wait Till You Hear These Predictions

Matrixport—the spreadsheet wizards of the crypto world—say Bitcoin is about to high-kick its way past $106,000. Bold! (But tbh, they’ve made bolder claims, so this is practically mild by crypto standards.) They figured all this new capital is about to knock BTC over the $100,000 mark like a drunk guy at a piñata party.

Whales are stacking sats, the mood is “extreme greed,” and people are so hyped you’d think Bitcoin just won The Masked Singer.

Enter Willy Woo, who also sounds like your friend’s fluffy dog but is, in fact, a respected analyst. He thinks the fundamentals look bullish, like an ascending triangle ready to launch BTC sky-high—or at least make a modest power-walk to new all-time highs. In his own words:

“BTC fundamentals have turned bullish, not a bad setup to break all-time highs,” he says. Translation: probably not the worst time to brag on X (Twitter, sorry, we’re never calling it ‘X’).

The “bullish ascending triangle” is apparently like the Bat-Signal for crypto optimists, indicating we could see fireworks if BTC punches through resistance. Cue the sax solo.

And here’s one for trivia night: 45.4% of South Korean investors think Bitcoin will absolutely crush gold in the next six months. Sorry, gold—maybe try NFTs?

ARK Invest—always the life of the party—says BTC could hit $2.4 million by 2030, assuming ETFs keep booming and financial institutions keep discovering the “buy” button. So, yeah, apparently $100k is just the appetizer. By 2030, either you’re rolling in it… or showing your grandkids your Dogecoin tattoo with a single tear.

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2025-04-30 08:15