When AI Deals and Bitcoin Miners Collide: CoreWeave’s Billion-Dollar Drama Unfolds!

Markets

What to know:

  • CoreWeave, as if summoned by the gods of silicon and circuits, signs a staggering $14.2 billion pact to arm Meta with Nvidia’s latest GB300 systems – some kind of magic boxes that promise to make machines think better than your average philosopher.
  • Evercore ISI, with the sort of optimism usually reserved for lottery ticket buyers, initiates coverage with an “outperform” rating and a $175 price target, tempting fate with a 43% upside forecast.
  • Meanwhile, Core Scientific’s shareholders, on the eve of what must feel like a grand ball, prepare to vote on October 30 on a $9 billion all-stock marriage – or, in simpler terms, a merger that will crown the bitcoin miner as a CoreWeave subsidiary. What romance!

CoreWeave (CRWV), a company that whispers in the ear of artificial intelligence and cloud computing, has secured a deal so grand that it might make Tolstoy himself blush: $14.2 billion from Meta Platforms (META) to deliver Nvidia’s newfangled GB300 systems. This news comes via Bloomberg, that purveyor of worldly wisdom, citing an interview with the ever-resolute CEO Michael Intrator – who probably had a stiff drink afterwards.

The company’s shares, busily dancing to the tune of market forces and investor dreams, soared over 8% in pre-market trading to $132, a figure that laughs heartily in the face of its modest IPO price from March. Truly, what a spectacle capitalism can be, when numbers grow faster than a Russian winter’s despair.

This monumental agreement, bravely daring to diversify CoreWeave’s revenue streams beyond their historical patron Microsoft (MSFT), follows a similarly extravagant promise from OpenAI – because who would trust a single friend with such mighty fortunes?

Evercore ISI, in an act of high finance clairvoyance, began their coverage on CoreWeave with an “outperform” rating and a price target that dares to dream: $175. Will destiny favor the bold? Or is this the financial equivalent of inviting a fox into the henhouse?

And so, on the 30th of October, Core Scientific’s shareholders will gather – perhaps with champagne in hand or a poker face firmly in place – to decide the fate of their kingdom. The proposed $9 billion merger would render the bitcoin miner a vassal to CoreWeave’s throne, a twist worthy of a Tolstoyan epic where loyalties shift with the turning seasons.

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2025-09-30 17:24