White House Whispers Sweet Nothings to Crypto: Will It Work?

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me surprised-the White House is finally getting its act together to push the Clarity Act through the Senate. According to Bloomberg (yes, the same Bloomberg who probably has a secret stash of stablecoins), the White House is rolling out the red carpet for banking and crypto bigwigs to chat about why crypto legislation is moving slower than a sloth on a Sunday.

White House: “Crypto, We’re Here for You… Mostly”

Walter Bloomberg (no relation to the other Bloomberg, probably) reports that the White House is hosting a Monday morning mixer to tackle the stablecoin yield drama. Apparently, they’re Team Crypto when it comes to paying yields for stablecoins. Because, you know, nothing says “we care” like letting crypto companies make a little extra dough.

Meanwhile, the White House has been playing crypto fairy godmother, trying to wave its wand and legalize the whole shebang. The Clarity Act is supposed to be the pumpkin carriage in this fairy tale, but it’s currently stuck in the mud thanks to Coinbase Global’s last-minute “nah, we’re good” moment.

Enter President Donald Trump (yes, still him), who’s suddenly all “pass the Clarity Act now or else!” Senator Cynthia Lummis is out here sounding like a crypto cheerleader, yelling about how we need to strike while the iron-or in this case, the pro-crypto president-is hot.

Midterms: Crypto’s Time to Shine… or Whine?

The White House’s crypto cuddling is a ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy bear market. Precious metals are having their moment, but crypto’s like, “Hey, remember me?” With the 2026 midterms looming, politicians are suddenly BFFs with the crypto crowd. And let’s not forget the pro-crypto super PAC Fairshake, which has raised a cool $193 million. Because nothing says “we’re serious” like a giant pile of cash.

So, will the Clarity Act finally get its moment in the spotlight? Or will it end up as another footnote in the “What Were They Thinking?” chapter of crypto history? Stay tuned, folks. This is better than a soap opera, and you don’t even need a subscription.

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2026-01-29 01:36