Why Matthew McConaughey Says Camila Alves Marriage Takes “Maintenance”

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Matthew McConaughey believes a marriage shouldn’t be alright, alright, alright all the time.

The Academy Award-winning actor explained that it’s unrealistic to expect a marriage to stay in the ‘honeymoon phase’ indefinitely.

He told podcast host Jay Shetty that the honeymoon phase is built on expectation and fantasy. He described it as a time when everything feels perfect and full of potential, but ultimately isn’t grounded in reality.

Matthew McConaughey, who married Camila Alves in 2012 after dating for six years, believes it’s unrealistic and unfair to constantly strive for perfection in a relationship.

It’s really difficult when you expect too much from someone,” the 56-year-old explained. “It creates a situation where neither person can actually meet those expectations.

He laughed and admitted, “My wife probably won’t agree with this, but I think I’m a bit too realistic when it comes to love. I just don’t believe that the initial excitement can last forever.”

Matthew believes a good marriage shouldn’t be overly flashy, but rather a gentle and subtle glow – like a low-wattage light bulb.

He explained that while it wasn’t as flashy, it would last much longer and feel more genuine for both of them. He described it as more natural and still beautiful.

What’s the secret to Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves’s enduring relationship? The actor, known from Magic Mike, says love isn’t enough – a strong relationship requires more than that.

Matthew explained that when you commit to loving someone, like in marriage, you promise to be there ‘in sickness and in health, until death.’ He added that while his love is certain, it still requires effort and attention to keep it strong.

He frequently does small, thoughtful things for his wife, Camila, and their three children—17-year-old Levi, 15-year-old Vida, and 12-year-old Livingston—to demonstrate that he values their relationship and doesn’t take it for granted.

Matthew described it as a conscious decision, sharing his habit of always making an extra cup of tea for Camila. He explained it wasn’t about obligation, but rather a way of investing in their relationship and showing consideration, even if it meant a small inconvenience.

For more stars sharing secrets to their long-lasting marriages, read on.

In their 2020 book, What Makes a Marriage Last, Hermann explained to Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue that he never expected to share so much laughter with his wife over their 20+ years together, calling joy a core part of who they are as a couple. He believes their marriage thrives because they love each other unconditionally, which he describes as true grace.

Finding happiness is crucial, even after disagreements. Hermann shared that after a heated argument, one of them will often try to lighten the mood with a joke – even about the thing they were fighting about. He explained that they’ll attempt to reconnect by saying something like, ‘I’m not admitting I was wrong, but can we start to find common ground again?’ When they can do that, it’s a good sign they’re on the path to resolving the issue.

They’ve managed to avoid major changes in their relationship by following the same advice they received before getting married in 2003. Even with five children, they prioritize weekly date nights and have intentionally chosen not to buy a TV, opting for other ways to stay connected.

Chip says his biggest piece of advice is to passionately pursue the person you love. After twenty years, he still feels like he’s trying to win them over. He jokes that while he can’t guarantee anything, his wife won’t be unfaithful because he consistently shows his love through words, gifts, and remembering special occasions.

Kevin Bacon jokingly advises against taking marriage advice from celebrities, reflecting on his 36-year union. He and his wife have a simple rule: “Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty” – a phrase they use to quickly shut down any further discussion about their relationship.

In reality, they prioritize resolving disagreements quickly and avoid prolonged arguments. As Bacon’s wife explained, they focus on finding solutions because fighting is unpleasant. Ultimately, they are committed to making things right, as there’s no backup plan – they always want to work through their issues together.

After over 37 years of marriage, the actors have learned how to argue respectfully. As the Family Ties star explained, Tracy and he avoid bringing up past hurts during disagreements. Many couples, he says, focus on their partner’s weaknesses and attack them, but they don’t do that.

They do have arguments, of course. He admits he often wants to take back something he’s said when he realizes it was hurtful, but he knows that doesn’t solve anything. Instead, he lets his wife take the lead and gives her space to cool down. She, in turn, tries to be understanding, reminding herself that even if he says something insensitive, he’s a good person and likely didn’t mean to cause pain.

In December 2024, speaking on Today ahead of their 40th wedding anniversary, Curtis shared that her husband still makes her laugh more than anyone else. She playfully added that he must find something to like about her too, even if she isn’t sure what it is.

Neil Patrick Harris believes the key to his long-lasting relationship is accepting that relationships are always changing and can’t be perfectly defined. After 21 years together, navigating career changes (including partner David Burtka’s cookbook release in 2019), raising twins Gideon and Harper, and facing life’s challenges, Harris explained that marriage is never static. He acknowledged that even physical intimacy evolves over time. “You try new things, and sometimes you lose attraction, so you have to rediscover it,” he said, noting that attraction shifts as you both age. Ultimately, he shared, you begin to connect with your partner’s inner self, and then with their physicality again. “It’s always changing,” he said. “In a way, we keep falling in love with each other anew, over and over.”

This comedic duo genuinely believes that laughter is essential to their well-being, not just in their 19-year relationship, but in life itself. The actress from Can You Ever Forgive Me? explained that they playfully calculate how much time a particularly hilarious moment adds to their lives. “Whenever we have a really good laugh, especially one that leaves us breathless, we estimate how many months it’s added,” she said. “I’m constantly adding it up—like, ‘That one was worth two months!’”

They also limit how long disagreements can last. Following the advice to avoid going to bed angry, Falcone shared that she once tried to continue an argument into the next day, only to realize she’d forgotten what she was even upset about. She believes that trying to resolve issues when everyone is tired or has had something to drink is pointless. She’s never had a late-night argument end with a satisfying resolution and a truce.

Both having been married previously, they met in 1995 and soon found themselves not only building a marriage, but also blending families with two children each. The actor from Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist remembers realizing early on that the children already had mothers and didn’t need another one. Instead, she decided to be a supportive figure in their lives. “Everyone needs a cheerleader,” she thought, “and you can never have too many.” She intentionally avoided setting rules, disciplining, or trying to instill values, recognizing those roles already belonged to their parents. The Cheers actor completely agreed, adding that offering friendship is a smart approach. “It’s about saying, ‘I’m not here to discipline or judge, I’m here to spend time with you and support you.’ That’s all you need to do – truly be present for them.”

When same-sex civil unions became legal in Britain, musician Elton John and his husband, David Furnish, had a civil union ceremony on December 21, 2005. Nine years later, on the same date, they were legally married. However, they celebrate their relationship based on a chance meeting at a dinner party in 1993 at John’s home in Windsor, England – a party arranged by a friend.

Every Saturday, no matter where they are, they write each other handwritten letters. They estimate they’ve written around 1,352 letters in total. Furnish explains that handwriting feels deeply personal and meaningful, and the cards allow them to reflect on the past week and discuss the week ahead. John agrees, saying that communication is key to a long-lasting relationship and a significant factor in their success together.

After quietly building a 40-year marriage – she even dreamed of meeting him six months before they did – they’ve made a conscious effort to keep their relationship strong, even as their lives have changed. They both prioritize their marriage, actively working to reconnect when they lose focus. If she could offer one piece of advice, it would be to always put that bond first. He passionately affirmed his devotion, saying he would do anything for her, even face any hardship, and would never let anything interfere with expressing his love. He emphasized that if you value a lasting, happy marriage, you must fiercely protect it.

ABC News reporter Roberts admits she doesn’t enjoy casual check-in calls. “I don’t like it when people call just to ask ‘How are things?'” she said. However, a close friend—who loves talking on the phone—helped her change her perspective.

One friend pointed out, “Maybe he just feels comforted hearing your voice, knowing everything is okay.” Roberts realized this was a sweet thought she hadn’t considered before. “If it makes him happy, then it should matter to me,” she explained.

Now, she takes a moment to respond kindly. “I take a breath and say, ‘I’m busy, but what’s new with you? Good, I’m glad to hear it. I have to go now. Talk to you later, love you.'” She says this simple change makes a huge difference to him, and it doesn’t take much effort on her part to be kind. The couple celebrated their 29th anniversary in September 2024.

Their almost 30-year marriage started building its foundation early on. They recall even small arguments – like when the actor once threw the talk show host’s ring out the window – feeling like they could end everything. The talk show host explained that in the beginning of a marriage, it’s easy for minor issues – like money problems, work stress, or raising children while exhausted – to become major conflicts. However, her husband taught her to step away and calm down, realizing that not every disagreement needs to define their relationship.

Now, as parents of three, they’re seeing the rewards of that lesson. The actor believes that truly happy couples have faced significant challenges together and overcome them, and that’s something worth celebrating.

She describes herself as an introvert, almost a loner, while he’s incredibly outgoing – he jokingly calls himself “the mayor of everywhere.” She’s a bit messy, and he’s a perfectionist, as she playfully pointed out. But after being married since 2003, they’ve learned to accept each other’s differences.

That’s the advice the lead actress from How to Get Away With Murder gives to friends who are getting married. She explains that marriage doesn’t begin at the wedding ceremony. It starts when you realize something about the person you love will likely annoy you, but you accept it anyway. It’s that moment of recognizing a potentially frustrating trait and still choosing to love them that truly marks the beginning of a marriage.

Maintaining a long-term relationship, like any lasting over 50 years, requires quickly resolving conflicts. Jane Fonda, star of Grace and Frankie, explained that she usually takes the lead in apologizing. She finds it easy because she deeply loves her partner and can’t stand to see them feel alone, even for a short time.

Ideally, she avoids needing to apologize at all. She’s learned that saying hurtful things in anger will ultimately make you feel worse. You’ll regret the words and end up feeling angry twice – which isn’t good for your health or the relationship.

It’s perfectly fitting that Jerry, a former judge, says his long marriage to the iconic Judge Judy works because he generally lets her have the final say. For her, the key is accepting that you won’t always get your way. Their marriage initially ended in 1990 after he wasn’t able to provide the support she needed following her father’s death. However, they remarried quickly a year later, and she understood he wouldn’t suddenly become a homemaker or take charge of planning events.

She explained simply that unhappiness in relationships often comes from trying to change someone. “You can try to make someone different, but they’ll always resent it,” she said. “Don’t marry anyone expecting them to change.”

The actor from Lost credits his wife with being the steady force in his life and career. He told TopMob News in April 2025 that she’s been incredibly supportive and patient as he’s pursued various jobs and traveled the world, keeping their family grounded and stable.

The actor described his wife as incredibly patient, and said she and their two sons always keep him grounded, no matter the situation.

“They shape my values,” he added. “It’s great to have that perspective and North Star.”

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2026-01-14 00:51