Why my new hopeful BBC drama Babies is the culmination of a decade’s exploration into grief

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From 2012 to 2015, my wife and I went through a difficult time with several painful experiences related to pregnancy, and it profoundly changed our lives.

Until then, my life felt a bit like a simple online search – easy and straightforward. I’d been writing a comedy series called Him & Her, and while I was happy it was finishing, I’d pictured revisiting the characters occasionally for special episodes, maybe even indefinitely. But that wasn’t going to happen. Something had changed, and I couldn’t write with the same freedom anymore. The next decade, and three more TV shows, would be spent processing what had occurred.

I just recently had a bit of a revelation about my show, ‘Mum’ – the one with Lesley Manville and Peter Mullan, about a woman starting over after a loss. It sounds strange, but I realized it was actually my story all along! When I was writing it, I honestly thought I was just cleverly using the sitcom format – that classic, build-it-up-slowly approach – as a way to sneak in some deeper themes and explore bigger ideas. I had no idea it was so personal.

I didn’t realize it was therapy at the time. After finally having a son—it felt like a miracle—and then taking on a mortgage, we faced more difficult times. Then, unexpectedly, we had a daughter. When you’re dealing with a lot, you just keep moving forward and don’t have the chance to pause and really process what’s happening.

I don’t feel like I control my writing; ideas just come to me, demanding to be expressed. I often wish I could stop, and enjoy some peace and quiet. But then another thought pops into my head, creating a restless feeling, and I’m back to working late into the night, trying to make sense of everything.

The BBC One drama Marriage, with Sean Bean and Nicola Walker, explored the complexities of a long-term relationship. I aimed to challenge traditional drama conventions, sometimes deliberately disrupting them in pursuit of a raw and honest portrayal. I often argued that a story shouldn’t simply recount life, but capture its essence – comparing a detailed plot to the source animal, not just the finished burger. I wanted a stark, unvarnished truth and resisted offering simple resolutions, especially given the difficulties everyone had faced during a challenging lockdown.

I wanted to express life as it truly is – raw and honest, not shaped by what television thinks it should be. I aimed to capture real speech, genuine feelings, and the often-unspoken nature of emotions, all without resorting to cheap tricks or easy entertainment. Underlying everything was a deep sense of sadness, like a quiet, powerful presence.

Writing feels like endlessly trying to clear away layers of mess. It’s not glamorous work. I write with raw honesty, driven by a need for connection. We’re all just searching for simple things – happiness, belonging, peace, and love – like a child captivated by a simple, fluttering kite.

After my youngest son was born, and with the busy life of having three young children, I felt ready to finally turn my past difficult experiences into a story. That story became my new series, ‘Babies’ (BBC One), starring Paapa Essiedu and Siobhán Cullen. Though it’s not based on my life directly, the series is a heartfelt story about a couple coping with the pain of losing pregnancies.

Though the subject matter is painful, this story is ultimately hopeful and offers a positive resolution. It’s a sincere effort to address a difficult experience – one often seen as a sickness rather than a natural part of grieving – and to help those who have lost someone feel more connected and less isolated.

Writing this show felt like an endless task, constantly unfolding. I work in complete isolation until the entire script is finished, and only then do I share it. Thankfully, a talented and supportive team helps me refine it, pointing out flaws and making it workable. By the time we start filming, the script is completely finalized and unchangeable.

I don’t believe in improvisation; I prefer a very controlled approach. I meticulously plan every detail – words, sounds, actions, and pacing. I give my actors the framework, and they bring it to life. They’re incredibly understanding, and together we explore each scene with intense precision to discover the most authentic truth in every small moment.

Paapa, Siobhán, Jack Bannon, and Charlotte Riley deliver truly exceptional performances in Babies, showcasing remarkable talent, empathy, intelligence, and bravery. I feel fortunate to have collaborated with so many gifted actors throughout my career.

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Writing ‘Babies’ felt like the end result of ten years spent thinking about loss, and I suspect there’s more to explore. It felt like a repeating pattern. But while filming, watching the actors Paapa and Siobhán bring their characters to life, I realized I had, once again, written a story about love.

I realized that, at its heart, my writing—and ultimately my stories—always comes back to the wonderful, complicated experience of sharing your life with someone you love. It’s a theme that naturally surfaces, like springtime.

My book, Him & Her, began with the joy of falling in love with my wife, and everything I’ve written since has explored that same feeling of amazement. I’m constantly struck by how fortunate I am, by her intelligence, the simple pleasure of being with her, and her ability to make me laugh. Now, with Babies, I reflect on how we supported each other through difficult times. From the moment we met, she’s been a powerful, inspiring force in my life and work, igniting every word I write.

Authors

Stefan Golaszewski

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2026-03-23 21:11