Once upon a sticky summer in the land of Wall Street Wizards, the US Securities and Exchange Commission and those peculiar Ripple folks shuffled into the grand Second Circuit Court of Appeals, both clutching rather soggy towels after their four-and-a-half-year mud-wrestling match. Their request? To pop their feather-dusted appeals neatly into the freezer so they could calmly persuade a slightly worn-out judge that, perhaps, this story should end with a juicy $50 million handshake and Ripple skipping home with its wallet—and dignity—mostly intact.
Ripple & SEC: The Bizarre Bargain-Brokers 🍋💼
This recent legal circus led to an eight-page “status report” (translation: very boring bedtime story) dropped late Monday, in which the Commission gently reminded the appeals people that everyone had “sort of, kind of” agreed (pending final approval, wink wink) to put the war to bed. Their request: keep everything on the back burner until mid-August 2025, by which time their tea will undoubtedly be cold and legal fees hot.
Let’s rewind: on May 8, both sides scribbled their names onto a settlement agreement. Ripple, always eager to escape a sticky wicket, agreed to pay $50 million—which, amusingly, is less than half the civil penalty they were originally slapped with. The other chunk of treasure and interest, buried safely in escrow (but watched by a squad of accountants and a suspicious-looking squirrel), would scuttle back to Ripple if everything goes their way.
But there’s a clever twist! The settlement is—cue the dramatic music—“contingent” on Judge Analisa Torres performing a legal fandango. She’d need to dissolve her fortress-like injunction from August 7, 2024, and release the loot. If she twirls her gavel just right, the parties will march back to court, beg for a quick edit of the judgment, and—poof!—everyone’s appeals vanish like leftover birthday cake at the SEC’s annual picnic.
Judge Torres, not known for rubber-stamping shenanigans, initially squinted at their first request and banished it for not meeting those “exceptional circumstances” conjured by Federal Rule 60(b) (written, one suspects, by a committee of frustrated puzzle-makers). Unbowed, the SEC and Ripple returned on June 12, wafting a fifty-two-page plea under her nose, wailing that more arguing was a waste of good judge-time, not to mention an obstacle to the SEC’s latest attempt to appear reasonable in the post-Gensler era. The memo pointed helpfully to the SEC’s new “let’s-make-a-deal” policy, not mentioning the donut bribes.*
Speaking of Gensler, the current Commission has swapped his “enforcement-first, ask questions never” vibes for a friendlier handshake—quite the wardrobe change after the 2020 knuckle-rapping, endless depositions, and the salad of judgments served up in July 2023. Judge Torres then declared that Ripple’s $728.9 million institutional XRP sales were as illegal as triple-parking, but the rest was, apparently, fair game.
By August 2024, Ripple got hit with a $125 million fine, plus a stern instruction to lock away even more money—because why not, it’s only digital! Both sides predictably appealed, with the SEC firing the first shot in January 2025. But before Ripple could hurl a reply, both parties sidled up to the Second Circuit and asked to put the whole kerfuffle on pause while they pondered their next move over cucumber sandwiches. The court, likely exhausted, agreed.
Fast forward; the motion now trumpets “exceptional” new developments: settlement in sight, SEC’s change of heart about crypto crusading, and no innocent bystanders bruised by any of it. Recent big crypto dismissals show that maybe—just maybe—it’s fashionable nowadays to quit while you’re ahead (or before everyone nods off).
Still, all eyes are on Judge Torres and her powerful gavel. Will she set Ripple free and slash the fine, or will this melodrama lurch upright for a final act, with the appeals bursting out like jack-in-the-boxes? Stay tuned—for now, XRP waltzes along at $2.247, and everyone waits for the next magical twist.
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2025-06-17 17:16