You Won’t Believe What Crypto Coins Are Up Today—#3 Had Me Spitting My Tea

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Here, on this gray, listless afternoon—the samovar hisses, Maria Ivanovna sighs, and the dog stares mournfully at the wall—we observe five cryptocurrencies, those tempestuous children of the modern age, leaping about with all the decorum of a provincial actor on payday. Traders and investors, dreamy-eyed or perhaps merely insomniac, find themselves transfixed by such antics. One can only wonder why.

1. Pudgy Penguins (PENGU)

At the head of this unruly procession waddles Pudgy Penguins (PENGU), up by a staggering 22.23% (yes, really—no vodka involved). Over the week, it’s soared 28.23%, as if haunted by the ghost of speculation past. Trading at $0.01408—a sum insufficient even for a half-decent kvas—PENGU has churned out a 24-hour volume north of $284 million and claims a market cap of $885 million. The trading: over 20 billion tokens. The explanation: unclear. Ah, the meme coin, that perpetual fountain of hope and regret! 🐧

2. EOS (EOS)

And now, an old acquaintance—EOS. This coin, which spent years dozing at the gate, has leapt up a sprightly 16.84% today. One almost expects it to burst into a Cossack dance. At $0.8410, it entertains $501 million in daily trading volume and a $1.3 billion market cap—because nostalgia, like Auntie Zina’s cake, never truly goes out of style. Over the week, it’s up 24%. Even the goats in the village are impressed.

3. Virtuals Protocol (VIRTUAL)

Virtuals Protocol, a name so modern it sounds like it disapproves of your wallpaper, is up 14.99% today. At $1.64 a pop, with $516 million daily volume and a market cap exceeding $1 billion, its cheerfulness is almost suspicious. Yes, darling, fresh faces need not linger at the party door—in crypto, you simply kick it in. 🤷‍♂️

4. Bitcoin Cash (BCH)

Bitcoin Cash, that stolid, slightly disheveled uncle, grumbled about its 0.39% dip today—but before you sigh, remember that earlier it enjoyed a robust 12.28% bounce. Weekly? Up over 14%. A market cap of $8.3 billion and $702 million in trading volume means this uncle can still buy the good vodka, and nobody’s getting the samovar just yet. 🪙

5. Celestia (TIA)

Celestia (TIA) finishes our little gathering, up 12.6% over the last day, but don’t get carried away—there was a modest 0.57% daily slip too. At $2.68 and a $1.68 billion market cap, TIA is surrounded by talk of modular blockchains (a concept as mysterious as the neighbor’s borscht recipe). There’s been profit-taking, sure, but anyone who finds stability in crypto is probably just enjoying a rare, quiet afternoon.

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2025-05-08 12:56