TL;DR (But you’ll still probably lose money if you skip ahead)
- Crypto, the gift that keeps on giving—by “giving” I mean transferring your savings to strangers on the internet. In the latest episode, a meme coin allegedly inspired by the Pope himself (yes, you heard that right, The Pope—the guy with the hat) skyrocketed to stardom.
- A few people “miraculously” made bank, and one poor soul basically flushed $110K down the Vatican drain in under five minutes. Hallelujah.
So, naturally, the exchanges (because they smell FOMO from three miles away) scrambled to list POPE so fast you’d think it cured blindness. A couple of hours later, the market cap’s bigger than most country’s national budgets, then—wouldn’t you know it—it completely tanks. Who could’ve predicted that? Oh, literally everyone.
If you want to check this mess yourself—good luck. CoinGecko and CoinMarketCap basically took a vow of silence and aren’t tracking the coin anymore. CoinGecko even excommunicated POPE. If that’s not a red flag, what is? 🚩
The project’s website claims the Pope’s getting a third of the coins, creators and marketers take a quarter, and the hoi polloi fight over what’s left. Apparently, it’s “supporting the Pope and the Catholic Church.” Sure. And I’m the Messiah.
“POPE was created to support a future Pope who champions cryptocurrency and decentralization-fostering empowerment, global impact, and spiritual connectivity,” yadda yadda yadda.
I mean, their slogan: “A meme coin so holy, it blesses every transaction.” Clearly, the only ones feeling blessed here are the insiders who pulled off a $1M heist right in front of everyone, wearing halos and ski masks.
Meanwhile, some guy—let’s call him Father FOMO—threw $200K at this thing, price instantly nose-dives, he panics, and cashes out at $89K. Blam—$111,000 gone faster than you can say “confession.”
Pro tip: Don’t FOMO trade. Or do, but then maybe buy a rosary.
This brave soul lost $111K on $POPE. Five minutes—that’s all it took. Dumb luck meets bad timing.
So long and thanks for all the tithes.
— Lookonchain, who’s clearly seen some stuff.
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2025-05-03 15:04