You Won’t Believe What NYC’s Mayor Is Doing With Crypto—And His Paychecks 🤑

by

On a gray Monday morning, beneath the ever-watchful spires of New York, Mayor Adams, standing with the city’s Chief Technology Officer (whose name, like many CTOs, has been lost amidst cables and cloud contracts), confessed before a weary crowd of reporters his latest vision: to transform this city of dreams—and bad traffic—into a fortress of crypto might. He recounted, with no small trace of pride, the momentous occasion when, filled with the optimism of a man unacquainted with market downturns, he syphoned his first three paychecks as mayor into the capricious arms of cryptocurrency in 2022. Not, he insisted with a wink and the solemnity reserved for toddlers eating broccoli, for political showmanship. Nay! He is a man of commitment—or, at the very least, someone who lost his Venmo password. 🤑

Next week, the city will open its doors to a summit—though given New York’s rent prices, ‘doors’ may be optimistic—where the great houses of crypto will gather to discourse (and perhaps gossip about NFTs) on potential collaborations. Yet, Adams’ fever dream soars higher than mere schmoozing. No, he dons his armor and sallies forth against a fearsome foe: the NYDFS BitLicense. This regulatory dragon has, for years, snarled and nipped at the heels of crypto hopefuls, leaving many a startup slain (or at least, deeply inconvenienced).

Adams, not entirely lost in visions of blockchain utopia, conceded that some regulation might be wise—especially if the townspeople (read: investors) wish to keep their coin purses full and unswindled. “Regulations must find the golden mean,” declared Adams, not quoting Aristotle directly, but the ghost of him nodded knowingly. Too much law, he warned, and innovation shall wither, leaving New York as nothing but a city with mediocre bagels and no soul.

With a flourish only politicians attempting tech metaphors can muster, Adams pronounced this upheaval a “technological revolution”—the sort of revolution that mostly involves brisk Powerpoint slides and Bitcoin memes. The inevitable march of blockchain and tokenization, he proclaimed, doth make this the hour! New York, already choked by yellow cabs and ambition, must now beat as fintech’s throbbing heart—if not, at least its nervous stomach.

As the mayor eyes another election—because real revolutions never last beyond polling day—he finds comfort in a wider parade of pro-crypto acolytes. Even Donald Trump, famous for losing casinos and never losing opinions, has added his crypto-enthusiasms to the chorus. Will they change the city? Or merely change their slogans? In this, as in all things crypto, the only certainty is volatility—and perhaps a few more emojis at the next press conference. 🚀

Read More

2025-05-13 05:12