So, Martin O’Malley—the guy who once ran Maryland and somehow didn’t annoy everyone to death— stood up in front of a bunch of people and decided to call bitcoin a Ponzi scheme. Bold, right? The crypto crowd? Steam coming out of their ears. Although, you gotta admit, in politics, everyone’s calling everyone a scammer. It’s like an episode of Curb, but with fewer laughs and more finger-pointing.
O’Malley’s Got a Theory About Trump, Musk, and $2.6 Trillion (Because of Course)
In his not-so-subtle defense of Social Security—a program that basically only makes people under 40 roll their eyes—O’Malley compared bitcoin (that magical internet money BTC) to a Ponzi scheme. Crypto folks? Lost their minds faster than a dog at a squirrel convention.
According to O’Malley, Trump, Musk, and probably six Illuminati lizard people have their sights on the SSA’s $2.6 trillion piggy bank. Hey, why rob a bank when you can just, I don’t know, “turn the public against Social Security”? Simple! And way more fun at parties.
“They want that surplus,” O’Malley told a crowd that was either cheering or trying to get on TV. “But Congress? Not gonna hand it over unless people think Social Security is the reason your cousin Gary can’t afford a Tesla.”
O’Malley, being a Democrat and also professionally wound-up, warned that the bad guys will say just about anything to trash SSA—from “dead people are getting checks” to “Social Security is basically Bernie Madoff in a tie.”
This is where things get even more Seinfeld-y: the Musk-led Department of Government Efficiency—seriously, DOGE, because politicians love a meme—wants to root around in SSA’s databases and “streamline” everything. And by streamline, I mean cut staff, close offices, and probably make you solve three riddles before you can get your own birthday right on the phone menu.
Privacy advocates? Suing! Protesters? Marching! Bureaucrats? Probably just running low on coffee.
Bitcoin Fans: “Pot, Meet Kettle”
O’Malley says “bitcoin is sketchy.” Bitcoin fans say, “Have you met Social Security?!” If you thought your last family dinner was awkward, just wait for this public spat. The Democratic Party is totally not mad about losing crypto folks last election—no, THEY broke up with crypto, not the other way around. (Sure, Jan.) Their latest move? Ghosting the stablecoin bill, because what are laws if not exes to be blocked?
But back to the “Ponzi” drama: bitcoiners didn’t just take the insult—they fired back with enough sarcasm to make my mother-in-law jealous. Charles Durham hopped on social media to say, “Hey, unless I get back what I put in, you’re just describing the world’s most legit-looking Ponzi scheme. The only difference? The government makes everyone play.”
Another guy, Dennis Connolly, chimed in: “SSA’s never missed a payment because the government has a magical money printer. It’s not a Ponzi, it’s Ponzi After Dark: Federal Reserve Edition.” 🤷♂️💸
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2025-05-11 02:05