🤑 Bitcoin Expert Predicts You’ll Be Rich Enough To Buy Liz Lemon’s Entire Sandwich Collection

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Oh boy, grab your night cheese and settle in, nerds! 🧀 According to some fancy-pants analyst at Unchained (which sounds like a rejected Marvel movie title), Bitcoin is supposedly heading to $1.8M by 2035. Like, that’s enough money to buy ALL the hot dogs in New York City! 🌭

During CryptoMoon’s Chainreaction show (which I assume is just people screaming “TO THE MOON!” for an hour), this guy Joe Burnett was like, “Bitcoin could totally beat gold‘s market cap!” Sure, and I could totally beat Oprah in a bread-eating contest. 🍞

Even with all this trade war drama (because apparently, we’re living in a season of “World Leaders Gone Wild”), these crypto nerds are still wearing their rose-colored VR goggles about Bitcoin’s future. 🤓

“When I think about where Bitcoin will be in 10 years,” Burnett said, probably while wearing a Bitcoin-themed tie, “it’ll be worth $1.8 million… or $2.1 million… or maybe a billion kajillion dollars!” Working Girl called, they want their ambitious predictions back. 📈

🎙Could Bitcoin really hit $10m by Q1 2035? Perhaps.

But first, we need to unravel the tangled web of the markets this week, and for both discussions, @rkbaggs and @gazza_jenks are joined today by Joe Burnett (@IIICapital) on the #CHAINREACTION show!

“The automobile industry is more valuable than the horse and buggy industry,” Burnett explained, showing off his mastery of the obvious. Next, he’ll tell us that Netflix is more popular than Blockbuster! 🎬

“The gold market is an estimated $21 trillion market. If Bitcoin just hit $21 trillion and had Bitcoin-gold parity, Bitcoin would be $1 million per coin today.”

Meanwhile, President Trump (yes, he’s back, like that recurring character nobody asked for) is threatening tariffs faster than Tracy Jordan changes his mind about sandwich toppings. 🥪

But here’s the real tea: While Bitcoin’s having its regular emotional breakdown, gold is serving “reliable queen” energy. It’s like choosing between dating a stable accountant or that exciting DJ who lives in his mom’s basement. 👑

So there you have it, fellow humans who still use regular money! By 2035, we’ll either all be crypto millionaires or still trying to explain to our parents what a blockchain is. Either way, I’m keeping my day job at TGS. 💁‍♀️

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2025-04-12 13:53