Dear Diary… v.v.g. news! 😊
10:30 am. Weight: don’t ask. Crypto investments: -60%. Self-worth: surprisingly high.
OMG! Just heard Coinbase Ventures and those fabulously wealthy people at Andreessen Horowitz (must stop stalking their LinkedIn profiles) have thrown a casual $10M at something called Towns Protocol. *attempts to look sophisticated while googling what protocol means*
11:15 am. Have spent 45 minutes trying to understand what Towns Protocol actually is. Is like WhatsApp but make it crypto. V.v. confusing. 🤔
Have made list of facts to appear knowledgeable at next crypto meetup:
- Is decentralized communication thingy (must remember not to say ‘thingy’ at meetup)
- Makes Discord look like MySpace (v.g. comparison!)
- Has “towns” which are like group chats but with smart contracts (whatever those are)
12:30 pm. Major breakthrough! Finally understand why Coinbase and a16z are so excited. Is like Facebook but without Mark Zuckerberg controlling everything. Though honestly, would rather have Zuckerberg than current crypto portfolio performance. 😭
Spotted on Twitter: Towns Protocol being absolutely shameless about their funding. V. reminiscent of me after three glasses of Chardonnay. 🍷
1:45 pm. Things Towns promises to do (must remember for potential future husband who might be crypto millionaire):
- Let communities vote on things (v. democratic)
- Keep away spam (unlike my dating inbox)
- Something about wallets (not the Gucci kind, sadly)
Resolution for tomorrow: Must figure out what “on-chain” means. Suspect not related to jewelry. Also, must stop pretending to understand Web3 at parties.
Number of times checked crypto portfolio today: 34
Number of times understood what I was looking at: 0
Number of times pretended to understand Towns Protocol: countless
That’s all for now. Must go practice saying “decentralized communication infrastructure” in mirror. 🪞
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2025-04-11 16:43