Oh great, another 241,700 people who got rich by doing absolutely nothing productive. 🙄 Bitcoin‘s rally and the crypto market hitting $3.3 trillion-because, sure, why not?-means we now have more digital millionaires than ever. Thanks, Henley & Partners, for rubbing it in.
And get this-450 people now have over $100 million in crypto. Thirty-six are billionaires. Thirty-six! That’s like a small-town high school reunion, except instead of reminiscing about football games, they’re reminiscing about buying Bitcoin at $10 and pretending they’re geniuses. 🎓
Henley calls this a “watershed year for institutional adoption.” Translation: Wall Street finally figured out how to make money off this nonsense too. Thanks, Trump administration, for giving them the green light to gamble with other people’s money-classic move.
US Bitcoin ETFs? Inflows up to $60.6 billion. Ether ETFs? Fourfold increase to $13.4 billion. Hedge funds and investment firms are scooping it up like it’s Black Friday at Best Buy. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to figure out how to afford groceries. 🛒
Bitcoin Millionaires: The New “I Told You So” Club
Henley says Bitcoin millionaires surged 70%. Wow, congrats! You held onto a digital coin while the rest of us worked actual jobs. Slow clap. 👏
Bitcoin centimillionaires? Up 63%. Billionaires? Up 55%. Meanwhile, actual crypto adoption only rose 5%. So, basically, the rich got richer, and everyone else is still Googling “What is blockchain?”
Phillipp Baumann-some finance guy-says Bitcoin is now the “base currency for accumulating wealth.” Oh, fantastic. Next up: Monopoly money becomes legal tender. 🏦
Where Do Crypto Millionaires Flee When Reality Hits?
Henley ranked Singapore, Hong Kong, and the US as top crypto migration spots. Switzerland and UAE round out the top five. Because nothing says “I’m rich and paranoid” like moving to a tax haven. 🏝️
Smaller countries like El Salvador and Panama are also trying to lure crypto investors. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that unstable economies LOVE unstable currencies. 💸
Anyway, enjoy your digital fortunes, folks. Just remember-when the bubble bursts, don’t come crying to me. I’ll be over here, still using dollars like a sucker. 😒
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2025-09-24 07:31