When a Single “gm” Tweets Chaos: The Curious Case of FTX Token’s Wild Ride

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Ah, dear reader, lend me your ear (or rather, your eyeballs) for a tale most strange and comical! On the twenty-fourth day of September, the humble FTX Token [NC]-that little digital sprite-undertook a dizzying dance of ascent and plummet, all thanks to a single, oh-so-cryptic utterance from none other than Sam Bankman-Fried himself. What was this profound message, you ask? Simply “gm”. Yes, just two letters-like a sleepy greeting at a drowsy village market-yet it unleashed tempestuous waves upon the fickle seas of crypto trade.

gm

– SBF (@SBF_FTX) September 23, 2025

FTX Token Performs the Grand Pump-and-Dump Ballet

No sooner had this “gm” been uttered than the token leapt 60% in value as if propelled by the breath of some mischievous spirit, soaring to the dizzy height of $1.20! But, as all tragicomic heroes must, it swiftly stumbled, sliding back below the sacred $1.00 threshold, much like a drunken Cossack losing his footing on slippery ice.

For months, the Twitter handle of SBF-our imprisoned crypto czar, serving a lengthy 25-year sentence-had been silent as a mouse in the attic. So, this unexpected “gm” stirred all manner of rumors: is he tweeting from his prison cell, hidden behind bars, plotting a crypto revolution? An hour passed and a second proclamation arrived, like a cautious village elder clarifying a foolish child’s prank:

[No, dear friends, SBF is not conjuring tweets from his prison tower. ’Tis but a friend speaking through his account.]

– SBF (@SBF_FTX) September 24, 2025

Meanwhile, the token’s daily trade volume ballooned by an eye-popping 660% to nearly seventy million dollars-a frenzy worthy of a market in Kiev on holiday. Experts, waving their hands and shaking their heads, warned of the siren’s call that is speculative crypto, admonishing the naïve traders not to fall into the same trap again. Tobby Cunningham, the wise host of the mystical “Crypto Tips” podcast, declared:

“See how over six thousand sinners liked this folly? T’will only get worse, mark my words! The next bear market apocalypse will make FTX look like a mere schoolyard scuffle. Not your keys, not your coins, oh ye poor lambs.”

Whispers from the year 2025’s springtime hinted SBF might serve a lighter sentence, his prison term shaved by good behavior and perhaps an earnest attempt at knitting socks for the wardens.

FTX’s Grand Plan: A 1.6 Billion Dollar Shower Upon The Market

Mark your calendars, for on September the thirtieth, the ghost of FTX’s fallen empire intends to hurl another 1.6 billion dollars into the crypto cauldron. This will be the third such generous offering since the collapse of November 2022, a veritable redistribution of wealth among creditors and hopeful onlookers.

The funds, gathered through the mysterious alchemy of bankruptcy proceedings and asset recoveries exceeding fifteen billion, will be spread among four groups of creditors like coins tossed at a drunken festival. Retail traders-the seventy-two percent who comprise 99% of the crowd-will joyously receive repayments roughly 120% of their original investments, a fine consolation for their torments.

💥 BREAKING:

FTX WILL INJECT $1.6 BILLION INTO CRYPTO MARKET ON SEPTEMBER 30.

GIGA PUMP IS COMING! 🔥

– ᴛʀᴀᴄᴇʀ (@DeFiTracer) September 23, 2025

And so, dear reader, we watch the merry farce continue, with tweets as cryptic as a babushka’s riddles, and markets as wild as a Cossack’s dance after too much horilka. What next? Perhaps a “gn” to bid us goodnight, or a “lol” from behind prison bars? Only time and Twitter shall tell.

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2025-09-24 15:17