Sean “Diddy” Combs Breaks Silence on His “Shameful and Sick” Actions

by

Sean “Diddy” Combs is breaking his silence. 

On October 3rd, the rap mogul addressed Judge Arun Subramanian in court before receiving his sentence for convictions related to arranging transportation for prostitution.

He told the court, according to NBC News, that he was grateful for the opportunity to speak. He explained that it had been very difficult to remain silent and unable to share how deeply he regretted his behavior.

Combs initially expressed a desire to “personally apologize” to his former partner, Cassie Ventura, who gave testimony against him, for “any pain I may have inflicted upon her, either emotionally or physically.”

“I understand the seriousness of this,” the 55-year-old stated, and also expressed his desire to personally apologize to everyone affected by domestic violence.

As a longtime follower, it broke my heart to hear Domestic violence will always be a heavy burden that I will have to forever carry, as Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs put it. He was incredibly honest about how disgusting, shameful and sick his actions were. He admitted he was struggling – sick, sick from the drugs – and completely out of control. It sounds like he really needed help, but didn’t receive it, and he’s taking full responsibility, saying he cannot make no excuse.

The “I’ll Be Missing You” artist shared insight into how he believes he got to this point.

Okay, so he said… it’s just… wow. He’s not some untouchable icon, you know? He’s just a *person*, and he was really trying, but things just… spiraled. He admitted he got totally lost in everything – the fame, the money, his own head. It’s heartbreaking. He said all his choices led to losing everything – his freedom, being a dad to his kids, even being there for his mom. Everything! All his businesses, his career… gone. And his reputation? Destroyed. But the worst part, the thing that really got to me, was when he said he lost his self-respect. He sounded so broken. He said he’s been completely humbled, shattered to his core. He actually *said* he hates himself right now. It’s like he’s been stripped of absolutely everything, left with nothing at all. I’m just… devastated for him.

With tears in his eyes, he also apologized to his mother, Janice Combs, and his children, including Quincy Taylor Brown, 34, Justin Combs, 31, Christian Combs, 27, and his 18-year-old children Chance Combs, D’Lila Combs and Jessie Combs, who had previously testified.

He stated, “I would never put my family at risk.” He continued, “Regardless of what others claim, I now fully understand and sincerely regret everything that happened.”

The musician-who had earlier denied charges of sex trafficking, conspiring to commit racketeering, sex trafficking through force or coercion, fraud, and transporting someone for the purpose of prostitution-was found guilty in July on two charges related to prostitution. These convictions carry a potential sentence of up to 20 years in prison. However, he was found not guilty of the sex trafficking and racketeering allegations in court that same month.

As the sentencing date approached, several people close to Combs wrote letters to Judge Subramanian, asking him to be lenient. These included his mother, Janice, who described her son as a “caring, loving” father, but also stated she “would never excuse any wrongdoing” he may have committed.

“My son has made some serious errors in judgment, and he understands that,” she explained in a letter shared with TopMob News. “I’m asking you to show compassion and allow him to rejoin his family at the dinner table. I want him to be able to raise his children, teaching them the importance of respect, education, and living with love and faith in God.”

Oh my gosh, you guys, even Sean Combs himself wrote a letter to the judge! He was practically begging for a little understanding, and he actually apologized – he said he was so sorry “for all of the hurt and pain that I have caused.” It’s just… heartbreaking to see him so vulnerable. He was really pleading for mercy, you know? I can’t even imagine how tough this must be for him.

“I strayed from the right path. I became lost during my life’s journey, overwhelmed by drugs and indulgence. My problems stemmed from putting myself first,” he wrote in a letter obtained by NBC News Oct. 2. “The person I used to be ended in jail, and I emerged as a changed man.”

For more on Combs’ case, keep reading.  

At the hearing on Oct. 3, 2025, the judge gave him a sentence of 50 months in prison-which is more than four years-along with five years of supervised release and a $500,000 fine.

The musician addressed the court for the first time during his sentencing on October 3rd, offering an apology to victims Cassie Ventura and “Jane.”

Combs stated that the experience of domestic violence would remain a lifelong weight for him. He described his behavior as disgusting, shameful, and deeply troubling. He explained that he was struggling with drug use, which led to him being out of control and in desperate need of assistance, but he didn’t receive it. He emphasized that he couldn’t offer any justification for his actions, and acknowledged his responsibility.

He went on to share how the case has impacted him.

“I’m just a person who made mistakes; I did the best I could, but I got caught up in my own pride and excesses,” he went on to say. “My choices led to the loss of my freedom, and I wasn’t able to be a parent to my children or support my mother. I lost my companies, my career, and my good name, but most importantly, I lost my own self-respect. This has been a deeply humbling and devastating experience. I truly dislike who I’ve become. I feel like I’ve been reduced to absolutely nothing.”

In July, Judge Arun Subramanian set Combs’ sentencing date for October 3, 2025. The judge rejected Combs’ request for release on bail before the sentencing, explaining that the rapper had a “years-long pattern of violence” and should remain in jail.

Following the trial, where Sean “Diddy” Combs was acquitted of charges related to racketeering and sex trafficking involving both Cassie and another accuser known as “Jane,” but convicted of transporting both women for the purpose of prostitution, the singer’s attorney responded to the verdicts.

The legal proceedings began when our client, Cassie Ventura, bravely filed a civil lawsuit in November 2023,” Douglas Wigdor stated in a July 2nd statement to TopMob News. “While the jury didn’t find Combs guilty of sex trafficking Cassie to the required legal standard, her actions allowed them to find him guilty of transporting someone for the purpose of prostitution. By sharing her story, Cassie has made a lasting impact on both the entertainment world and the pursuit of justice.

Acknowledging the charges-to which Combs entered a plea of not guilty-Wigdor stated, “We need to reiterate – without any hesitation – that we stand with and support our client, who demonstrated remarkable bravery during this legal process.”

Wigdor also commended Ventura, one of the 34 people who testified during Combs’ 29-day trial, for her contributions.

He went on to say that she demonstrated incredible resilience and highlighted the problematic behavior of influential figures, as well as the decades of unchecked wrongdoing. “This case showed that things need to change, and we remain committed to supporting those who have survived.”

After learning he was found not guilty on three of the five charges in his federal case, Combs-who could have faced life in prison if convicted on everything-dropped to his knees and bowed his head in what appeared to be a prayer, according to NBC News reporters present in the courtroom.

According to reports from the news outlet, Combs’ family members were in the courtroom and reacted with applause and cheers to the outcome for the music executive. The lawyers representing Combs embraced each other, and Combs himself hugged attorney Brian Steel.

On July 2nd, the 12 jurors reached a decision in the sex trafficking trial of Combs, delivering verdicts on the five federal charges he was facing. After three days of discussion, the jury found him guilty on two counts of transporting individuals for the purpose of prostitution, involving his former girlfriends Ventura and a woman known only as “Jane.”

Sean Combs-who maintained his innocence regarding all accusations-was acquitted of one charge of conspiracy to engage in racketeering and two counts of sex trafficking.

As a lifestyle expert, I’ve followed this case closely. The jury let Judge Arun Subramanian know they were stuck on the racketeering charge the day before they had to deliver their decision. They explained they had some jurors with views that just couldn’t be changed. Judge Subramanian spoke to them, urging them to keep trying to come to an agreement. Thankfully, they *did* reach a verdict just hours after restarting their discussions the next day.

Prosecutor Christy Slavik took nearly five hours – four hours and 50 minutes, to be exact – to summarize the case for the jury. She contended that Sean “Diddy” Combs routinely relied on intimidation, force, and control to achieve his goals.

“He absolutely refuses to accept ‘no’,” she explained. “He considered it his domain, and everyone was expected to cater to his needs.”

Slavik highlighted two instances of alleged violence by Combs: a physical assault on his then-girlfriend Cassie Ventura in 2016, and a more recent alleged assault in 2024 on a girlfriend who is being referred to as “Jane” throughout the trial.

She explained, “Although these two events happened eight years apart, they are connected. They aren’t isolated incidents, but rather parts of a larger narrative – the story of Sean Combs and the criminal organization he headed, comprised of those closest to him.”

She went on to say that the criminal group consistently fulfilled the defendant’s wishes by using a deliberate cycle of violence, intimidation, and control. The defendant believed that keeping people quiet and feeling ashamed would conceal his offenses. He wrongly assumed his celebrity, money, and influence meant he was exempt from the law.”

Slavik contended that during this trial, Combs received assistance from what she called “a small army of personal staff.” Their primary goal, she stated, was to fulfill the defendant’s every need, enhance his influence, and safeguard his image no matter what.

The prosecution filed a document with the court asking for permission to change some details of their arguments regarding the attempted arson and kidnapping charges. They want to revise their explanations of how the crimes were allegedly committed and clarify certain aspects of their case. This filing seeks to amend their initial claims.

Despite still being accused of racketeering conspiracy and sex trafficking-including allegations of kidnapping and arson-prosecutors stated in a letter on June 24th that they had removed charges related to attempted kidnapping under the laws of both California and New York, attempted arson under California law, and aiding and abetting sex trafficking.

The government also stated it hopes that making the language easier to understand will not only make the instructions more straightforward, but also avoid any potential confusion.

Combs told JudgeSubramanian that he will not take the stand during his sex trafficking trial.

The judge made it clear that, no matter what the rap mogul chose to do, “no one – not even the jury – could assume he was guilty simply because he didn’t take the stand.”

As a longtime follower, I’ve been following this closely. Combs has stated he discussed with his team the possibility of not testifying, but he really stressed that the ultimate decision to do so was entirely his own – solely his call, as he put it.

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and this is what I’ve decided,” he told the judge. “This is my choice, and I stand by it.”

According to Teny Garagos, Combs’ lawyer, both the defense and the prosecution anticipate needing “at least four hours” apiece to present their closing statements to the judge.

After Homeland Security Investigations Special Agent Joseph Cerciello finished several days of testimony on June 24th as a witness for the prosecution, the defense will start presenting its case. Combs’ legal team announced they won’t be calling any witnesses of their own and will instead concentrate on the evidence that has already been submitted.

During Ceriello’s testimony on June 23rd, the jury viewed explicit videos. According to NBC News reporters present in the courtroom, these videos seemed to be from events Combs referred to as “freak offs” and were formally presented as evidence.

The special agent reported finding 50 explicit videos dating from 2021 and 2022, but the jury only viewed two of these files-they used headphones and individual screens to do so.

In voicemails to his former chief of staff Kristina Khorram played on June 23, Combs outlined a number of requests he had while staying at a hotel in November 2021. These included asking for more baby oil, something he said he often used when he became upset-referring to these moments as “freak offs.”

He told Khorram, “Have them call me before they start driving.” Then, seemingly surprised to be released, he added, “I can’t believe I’m out. Load 20 bottles into this vehicle.”

In addition to extending her hotel stay by one day, Khorram responded, “OK. The baby oil is right outside the door.”

According to text messages, his previous employee messaged him saying she was setting up an IV drip for both him and Jane. He had used this as part of at least one recovery after a “freak off”, as revealed in the group chat messages.

She also made sure that there were Plan-B pills, an emergency contraceptive, in his nightstand.

The court saw a collection of text messages exchanged between Combs and Ventura. In these messages, the singer of “Long Way 2 Go” openly shared how the alleged abuse was affecting her.

In March 2017, after Combs inquired if Ventura – his on-again, off-again partner from 2007 to 2018 – wanted some space, she responded, “No. I simply don’t want to be constantly criticized for standing up for myself, ever. Your actions make me feel insignificant.”

In another instance, she further accused her ex of physically assaulting her. 

I offered you my love, but the moment I looked away, and you messed up, you physically assaulted me, pulling me through the house by my hair. I’m 30 years old,” Ventura wrote to him that May. “This is no longer a game. Last night, I felt as if I was dying, and it was surreal because witnessing my own strength and resilience was so powerful.”

As a lifestyle expert, I’ve been following this case closely. It’s come to light through testimony from Brendan Paul-who worked for Mr. Combs between 2022 and 2024-that he allegedly obtained drugs for him several times. Specifically, Mr. Paul stated this included things like “Marijuana, 2C, cocaine, ketamine, ecstasy.”

Paul explained that they would contact the drug dealer by text, and the dealer would then come to one of their houses. He also remembered being fired on several occasions for different reasons, including leaving a Lululemon fanny pack behind. “I first met them through texts or phone calls,” Paul said of how he was introduced to the dealer.

However, Paul vehemently denied being a “drug mule” for the rap mogul.

As a lifestyle expert, I’m letting you know that Judge Subramanian had to wrap things up for the day on June 18th. Unfortunately, one of the jurors wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t return. And just a heads-up – court will also be closed on June 19th for Juneteenth.

The judge stated, “We have a juror who is ill and unable to attend. They experienced dizziness and had to return home.” The judge continued, “The juror’s spouse informed us of the situation. Since this juror is a member of the main jury, it seems we will be unable to proceed with the trial today.”

The judge pointed out that it’s not yet known if the juror’s sudden vertigo-causing dizziness, nausea, and headaches, among other effects-will be short-lived or a continuing problem, but stated they would “monitor the situation.”

Because the court is closed on June 19 for Juneteenth, Judge Subramanian stated the trial will continue on June 20 with a shorter schedule, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Just after Judge Subramanian removed Juror No. 6 due to inconsistent responses about where he lives, another juror is now potentially facing removal. This is because of a reported inappropriate conversation about the case with a past coworker. The juror was questioned by the judge and, according to NBC News, turned over his phone for review.

By the close of the court session on June 16, a decision regarding the member’s dismissal hadn’t been reached.

Kanye West showed up at the New York City courthouse on June 13th to support Sean Combs. The “Stronger” rapper spent roughly 30 minutes at the courthouse, quickly stopping by the waiting area but didn’t go inside the courtroom itself. The courtroom is specifically for Combs’ family, lawyers, and the press and public who have been waiting in line for hours to get a seat.

Jane remembered a disagreement they had following her trip to Las Vegas with another rapper and his spouse.

She stated that this resulted in secretly watching sexual activity after she contacted Anton, a sex worker she and Combs frequently employed. During the trip, a group of people observed him engaging in sexual acts with a woman in a hotel room.

Jane informed Combs’ lawyer, Geragos, that the music executive was angry because he believed she had gone to a sexually suggestive event with another man. He used the phrase “freak off” to describe it.

During the 21st day of the Combs trial, Maurene Comey, a prosecutor with the U.S. Attorney’s office, told the court that her team wants to dismiss one of the twelve jurors.

“We really didn’t want to submit this letter,” she explained to Judge Subramanian just before the jury came into the New York City courtroom. “It seemed like someone wasn’t being completely honest with the court, which is a major concern for us.”

Defense lawyer Alexandra Shapiro-noting that Juror No. 6 is one of the Black jurors-requested a day or two to submit a written response and review relevant legal precedents.

Judge Subramanian stated he would delay making arrangements for the juror until a decision is reached.

 

On June 10th, Jane and Garagos had a difficult discussion where Garagos implied the witness was exchanging sexual favors for expensive gifts. 

Geragos reviewed text messages from November 2021 between Jane and Combs. The messages showed the witness was distressed because Combs was having sexual relations with other women. According to the texts, she questioned Combs about whether he had given one of these women “a Chanel bag” after they had sex.

Jane said that she didn’t get a Chanel purse from Combs, telling Garagos that she “got trauma.”

When the attorney asked what a Bottega bag was, she replied, “I’m sure you have one.”

And when Geragos asked how much the item costs, Jane asked, “How much does my body cost?”

Jane was granted a 10-minute break following the exchange.

Jane stated that in approximately 2022, she came to believe that Combs was a “cuckhold”-someone who derives enjoyment from watching their partner engage in physical intimacy with another person-after researching their relationship.

“It helped me understand things better,” she explained, describing her motivation for the research. “I was really trying to thoroughly explore all the reasons why they got so much enjoyment from watching their partner with other men.”

The witness suggested that Combs’ interest in “hotel nights”-which closely resembled Ventura’s descriptions of private encounters-might stem from him exploring his own sexual identity.

She testified that some individuals might harbor genuine curiosity but feel too embarrassed to explore it directly, and therefore use a woman as a proxy to satisfy that curiosity without personally engaging in the act.”

Jane stated that she had given Paul-an escort she and Combs hired several times-the nickname “Trifecta.” She explained that she chose this name because she felt their sexual connection was as successful as that of famous basketball players.

“I was Kobe Bryant and Paul was Shaq [O’Neil],” she told jurors. “Combs was Michael Jordan.”

She called Paul “really nice,” and mentioned that if she “had to” engage with escorts, she preferred “someone with a warm energy.”

As a lifestyle expert, I’ve seen firsthand how external relationships can impact even the most seemingly solid romances. In my observation of the situation, Jane shared that the dynamic between Combs and Khorram was a real point of contention – essentially, a source of conflict – within her own relationship with the rap mogul. It created tension and clearly played a role in their dynamic, as she testified.

“She was constantly by his side,” Jane explained, referring to Khorram. “It created problems for Sean and me. I think she felt very strongly about me, and that really affected how Sean behaved towards me.”

On June 10th, Judge Subramanian rejected a request for a mistrial from Combs’ lawyers. They had claimed that Ventura and her friend Bryana Bongolan weren’t truthful about Bongolan being threatened with being dropped from the 17th-floor balcony by the rapper.

His legal team, who had previously sought a mistrial but were unsuccessful, claimed in the court document that the prosecution engaged in “misconduct” by presenting “perjured testimony.”

The letter states that during the trial, the government presented evidence they knew, or should have known, was false. This relates to their claim that Mr. Combs threatened Bryana Bongolan by holding her over the balcony of Cassie Ventura’s apartment in September 2016. Therefore, the letter argues that to prevent an unjust conviction, the Court should declare a mistrial.

Jane alleged that the rap mogul had beaten her for hours June 2024.

Jane stated that an argument started between her and Combs because he was seeing a woman much younger than him – 25 years younger, to be exact. She said this led to her calling him a “pedophile” and physically pushing his head against a marble kitchen counter.

The witness stated she hid in the main bedroom, and Sean Combs began trying to force the door open. (Pictures of the damaged door were shown as evidence.) She claimed that while attempting to escape, the Bad Boy Records founder kicked her in the back of her leg, causing her to fall.

She told the prosecution that he pinned her to the ground in a chokehold, lifting her up until she struggled to breathe and was forced to stand on her tiptoes. She said she was simply trying to escape his hold.

Jane stated she quickly left the house and concealed herself behind an outside wall for about two hours, waiting for him to go away, but he stayed. She then said they went back to his house, and she huddled in the backyard, trying to shield herself while Combs supposedly assaulted her.

Jane testified that the fight worsened when Combs supposedly hit her in the back. “He began punching my head,” she stated in court. “He then started kicking me and repeatedly yelled and punched.”

She alleged that he told her that she was “trying to take him away from his kids and his family.” 

She testified that she told him, ‘No, I’m not. Please just leave me alone. Just go. Please stop.’ Then, she said, he grabbed her by the arm and hair and began dragging her back toward the house… pulling her by her hair and arm.”

Following the reported attack, Jane stated she noticed “two welts about the size of golf balls” on her forehead, and also had a black eye.

Jane stated that investigators with Homeland Security Investigations raided her home, which Sean Combs had paid for in March 2023, as well as several other properties owned by him. She explained that agents arrived at her house, and she immediately contacted Combs’ chief of security to inform him of what was happening.

Jane claims that a powerful person threatened to share intimate videos of them with her child’s father in December 2023.

As Jane and Combs’ relationship worsened, she stated that he told her he had “nothing to lose” if he released the videos. She testified that he repeatedly called her, putting her under intense pressure: “It was just back-to-back pressure phone calls.”

She sent a message to Khorram detailing what happened, and this message was submitted as evidence. In the message, Jane explained that Combs was threatening to release the video, and she stated that she was “heavily drugged” in it.

She also explained she needed time away from Combs, as she was working to process all the trauma he had inflicted.

Jane told the court that Khorram assured her that Combs would not use the footage.

During her testimony, Jane stated that certain aspects of Ventura’s lawsuit from November 2023-which was eventually resolved-closely resembled her own experiences with Combs.

“I nearly passed out, and I believe I actually did,” she shared with the jury, tears welling up. “There were three particular pages that were deeply upsetting and directly related to what I was going through.”

Jane, a participant in the “hotel nights,” shared that the experience felt like she was reading her own story. This prompted her to directly address Combs through text messages.

In screenshots presented as evidence, she wrote that reading Ventura’s lawsuit felt like reliving her own sexual trauma. She described feeling “sick” and said the lawsuit detailed “exactly word for word” the “drug-filled days and nights” she experienced. She accused him of anticipating the lawsuit and of gaslighting her, claiming he intentionally drove her to feel “crazy.”

“I’m deeply upset and felt pressured to engage in activity repeatedly,” the messages went on to say. “You made me question my own feelings and experiences related to past sexual trauma. I feel extremely violated. What happened was sexual exploitation.”

Combs then called Jane and secretly recorded their conversation, which was later presented as evidence. During the call, he told her they “did these things together” and emphasized that this was the time he needed her “to be there.”

Jane, unaware she was being recorded, confided in Combs that she felt “sick” to her stomach after reviewing Ventura’s documents.

Jane stated that during her involvement in “Hotel Nights” with Combs and male escorts, she frequently used ecstasy. However, on one particular occasion, she chose to abstain from drugs while engaging in sexual activity with three men.

She testified that she had been with several men that night. She vomited, and then Sean came in, saying, ‘You’ll feel better now. Let’s go outside.’

Jane said that at the end of the night, she felt “absolutely terrible.”

Read More

2025-10-03 23:54