In the shadow of red tape and the trembling hands of regulators, humanity’s latest savior-Canary’s spot XRP ETF-has clawed past apocalyptic expectations. 🐦🕊️ It now dances toward a debut that makes Wall Street’s elders weep into their broths, clutching their screens like distraught lovers.
First Spot XRP ETF Begins Trading
Thursday dawned, and the XRP ETF, a creature born from the DNA of dreams and despair, began trading on Nasdaq like a caffeinated lemming. 🚀 Bankers, institutional and otherwise, nodded solemnly as the last regulatory wolves retreated-or perhaps simply yawned. The gods of paperwork had, for once, granted mercy.
Canary Capital, armed with press releases sharper than a dagger to the throat, declared: “XRP Ledger is the ultimate ledger of all ledgers.” One might believe them… if not for the faint smell of desperation clinging to their polished LinkedIn profiles.
Noticeably, Canary completed their 8-A filing-a bureaucratic rite of passage-with the SEC, while the stock exchange offered a tepid nod for efforts. Perhaps they now regret their audacity as veils of paperwork smother their ambitions. 📜💤
The ETF’s debut danced joyfully on the heels of a 43-day government shutdown, a respite that lasted just long enough to sharpen pencils one last time. The SEC, caught mid-hysterical pause, scurried to unchain innovation-because nothing screams “stability” like bureaucrats playing catch-up with crypto.
By October’s end, cryptocrats predicted a banquet of approved investment products, only to halve their enthusiasm as deadlines metastasized like crypto’s inflation. But the unstoppable forces of greed and greedier wept for joy as the first ETFs flung themselves at the dance.
Crypto journalist Eleanor Terret, her eyes aglow with caffeine and contemplation, explained, “An open government? A myth. All you need is paperwork! Just like your divorce.” 🤭
Canary’s XRPC To Challenge BSOL’s Debut
Analysts-those modern-day prophets with stock tips-had quivered, predicting XRPC’s eruption between $15 million and $35 million. Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas, sunken-eyed from sleepless spreadsheets, originally claimed $17 million. But lo! In half an hour, alchemists transmuted $26 million in volume, and Balchunas wept, “My eyes! They were haunted by conservative predictions for nothing!”
NewsBTC’s BSOL ETF, a prior titan, faltered at $10 million initially, climbing to $33 million half-day before toppling as a $57 million cautionary tale. Meanwhile, XRPC lounged in lofty $46 million splendor, with James Seyffart-if that’s even his real name-declaring, “This is… almost not last place for 2025.”
XRP, meanwhile, traded at $2.30, a 3.3% decline. One might call it despair; I call it capitalism’s last stand. 🤝📉
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2025-11-14 08:22