These Secrets About The Family Stone Will Get Your Freak Flag Flying

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Ah, there’s nothing like going to your potential in-laws’ cozy New England home for Christmas.

It’s easy to make a bad first impression, and quickly, things can go from feeling hopeful to wondering if you’ve chosen the wrong person – and if your sibling might be a better fit for everyone else, including your partner.

Without spoiling the main plot of the movie The Family Stone, it’s been 20 years since its release, and like a well-made layered dip, its charm comes from its many levels and details.

Okay, seriously, watching this movie this year just destroyed me. Knowing Diane Keaton, our amazing Sybil Stone, is gone… it’s just too much. The part where they reveal she’s sick? Ugh, I actually sobbed. She’s a mom of five, still rocking a bathrobe like it’s couture, and she only has one Christmas left with everyone? It’s heartbreaking, honestly. I’ll never look at Christmas the same way again. She was just… perfect.

Sybil is hesitant to give her oldest son, Everett (Dermot Mulroney), the family ring he wants to use for a proposal. His girlfriend, Meredith (played by Sarah Jessica Parker), is very tense and reserved – she could really benefit from loosening up a bit.

Everett’s easygoing, somewhat directionless brother, Ben (played by Luke Wilson), encourages her to break out of her shell. Meanwhile, Meredith brings her lively sister, Julie (Claire Danes), along for the ride, hoping she’ll be an ally. Julie unexpectedly helps Everett discover a new side of herself.

The cast includes Craig T. Nelson as Kelly, Sybil’s husband and a college professor, Elizabeth Reaser as their married and pregnant eldest daughter Susannah, Tyrone Giordano as their son Thad, who is deaf and hoping to adopt a baby with his partner Patrick (Brian T. White), and Rachel McAdams as Amy, the youngest sibling, who uses sarcasm to hide her feelings.

Fans of the film The Family Stone have been curious about what became of the characters, and writer-director Thomas Bezucha shared in November, following Diane Keaton’s passing, that he was developing a sequel. He explained to CNN that he wanted to revisit the Stones after the loss of Sybil, and had been spending time reflecting on her while revisiting the location where they filmed.

Despite its success – the 2005 movie earned $93 million on an $18 million budget – it didn’t receive universal praise. Instead, it sparked a continuing discussion about who the most unlikeable character is, with Meredith often cited as a prime example, though she’s not alone. Perhaps the film’s real message is that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes.

In 2023, Bezucha told the Wall Street Journal that the marketing campaign featuring Meredith dropping a casserole and causing exaggerated laughter was actually deceptive.

“And then I kill the mother with cancer,” he cracked. “Happy holidays.”

Despite being a bit chaotic and focusing on a tightly knit family—and the people who aren’t sure whether to avoid them or join in—this movie has become a beloved tradition during the holidays.

We’re sharing some behind-the-scenes information about The Family Stone, and we hope it doesn’t bother anyone. We definitely want you to enjoy it, even though we might pretend otherwise!

Getting Diane Keaton on board for The Family Stone was key to the film’s success. She was the first actor to commit after reading the script by writer-director Thomas Bezucha, and her involvement helped him assemble a fantastic cast.

In a 2005 interview with Girl.com.au, the Oscar winner explained that Sarah Jessica Parker was the first to read the script and really liked it. However, the project stalled for unclear reasons. Once I agreed to star, they quickly assembled the rest of the cast, giving the impression they already had a fully developed film, when in reality, it hadn’t come together until then.

In 2025, Bezucha told CNN that Keaton “really took a chance.” He described it as an incredibly fortunate moment, saying, “Seeing a shooting star feels lucky, but this felt like something much bigger – like being struck by a comet.”

And on set, producer Michael London told CNN, “Diane was the mom to everybody.”

Keaton regularly surprised everyone with lottery tickets or bottles of wine, and he once gave the entire cast and crew a beautiful, high-end wine opener – the nicest one anyone had ever seen.

Sarah Jessica Parker, best known for her bubbly and inquisitive character Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, deliberately chose a very different role when she played Meredith. Meredith is the uptight and controlling girlfriend of Everett Stone, the oldest son, whom she meets during the holidays. Parker herself acknowledged that this was a significant change of pace for her.

The actress described her character as stubborn and unwilling to compromise. When forced to deal with unfamiliar surroundings at the Stone house, she completely falls apart.

But, Parker explained, “I grabbed the opportunity to play Meredith.”

She wasn’t concerned with popular opinion of the character – in fact, it wasn’t very high. As she explained to indieLondon in 2005, her main goal was for the audience to see the character as authentic and believable.

However, Parker came to Meredith’s defense in 2018, explaining to Vulture that she didn’t find the character unlikeable. She pointed out that romantic comedies often have a narrow idea of what makes a woman ‘likable’ or ‘relatable,’ which she believes unfairly limits how diverse female characters can be and doesn’t reflect the reality of the many different women in the world.

Okay, so Amy Stone, played by the amazing Rachel McAdams, is totally my favorite. Looking back, she’s the one I connect with the most, you know? She just felt so real. But honestly? She could be a little harsh sometimes, living in her parents’ attic and trying to finish her degree. Still love her, though!

Rachel McAdams told Variety in 2005 that she first read the script several years prior and vividly remembered the experience. She explained that it deeply resonated with her, particularly the character of Amy. Amy was complex, loving, and fiercely protective of her family, but also struggled with complicated feelings – which McAdams found fascinating to explore.

Bezucha told me to go all out, explaining that ‘you can’t be too bad!’

The movie originally had a much harsher title, “Fking Hating Her,” which described how Sybil initially felt about Meredith. This was later changed to “Hating Her,” and finally settled on the title The Family Stone.

Keaton adored Parker, but she gave her good-natured hell during filming.

Keaton shared with Girl.com.au that playfully teasing Parker during the photoshoot was something he really enjoyed. He explained that he grew up being teased by his father and now continues that playful tradition.

Parker understood Keaton wasn’t intentionally being harsh, recognizing that everyone has their own way of doing things. As Parker put it, he wasn’t going to force his methods on her, but he wanted to create a comfortable working environment.

Okay, so Parker gets it, you know? He was saying it’s not weird at all, because he’s used to all-male energy – he has brothers and a husband! He actually loves the playful teasing, the back-and-forth. He described it as…well, he said we all just understand the dynamic, like it’s a playful fight, a sort of ‘swordplay’ between us. It’s just how we connect, and it’s amazing that he understands it so perfectly! It’s just…chef’s kiss.

However, Bezucha shared with SFGate that Sarah Jessica Parker would sometimes leave the set after filming a scene with Diane, and would reportedly say, ‘I really think she’s still acting as her character.’

Luke Wilson broke a tooth and, hoping Keaton could suggest a good dentist, she surprisingly gave him the number for a therapist instead.

As Dermot Mulroney told SFGate back in 2005, Diane Keaton was very direct. He recalled that on the first day of rehearsals, she asked him, “Is that really what you’re planning to wear to every rehearsal?”

According to Keaton, director Bezucha made them rehearse, something Keaton dislikes. “I hate to rehearse,” Keaton said in a behind-the-scenes interview with Fox Movie Channel.

Looking back, she realized Tom was clever to suggest we hang out socially, like inviting us to dinner. It was a much more relaxed way to start things than the usual awkward question of, ‘So, dinner?’

Wilson said he thought it was great to share meals and play charades, just like the band does in the movie.

The ensemble, Bezucha explained, could then “act without having to perform.”

Okay, so it was AMAZING seeing how much detail they put into everything! They had a dedicated ASL instructor working with all the actors who needed to sign – you know, the characters who were supposed to be fluent. It was all so they could realistically communicate with Thad Stone, who was played by the incredible Ty Giordano. Honestly, it just made everything feel so much more authentic and respectful, and Ty’s performance was just…wow.

Keaton confessed she struggled to learn the ropes, even describing herself as a “slow learner” in a behind-the-scenes featurette about the film.

She admitted to making a serious mistake. She explained that she was meant to initial a document with ‘OK,’ but instead, she accidentally signed something inappropriate.

You know, one of my proudest moments on screen actually happened at a dinner party in the movie. My character, Sybil, really stood up for her son, Duke, when another guest made some insensitive remarks about him and his partner, Patrick. As a mom – my kids, Dexter and Duke, were pretty young then, 10 and 4 – it felt incredibly natural to defend what I believe in. I consider myself a progressive parent, and that scene really captured who I am and what’s important to me – fiercely loving and supporting my children, no matter what.

Food stylist Valerie Aikman-Smith was brought in to ensure the scenes showing the band preparing and enjoying food – like their Christmas Eve feast – looked authentic and appealing.

Although the Stone family’s home is meant to be located in a New England college town, the show was actually filmed in Madison, New Jersey. A blizzard during filming conveniently created a beautiful, snowy backdrop.

The outside of the house in the movie was filmed at a location in Greenwich, Connecticut, but the inside scenes were shot on comfortable, decorated sets in a Hollywood studio.

According to notes from the filming location, Keaton described the Stone house as ‘fabulous,’ but jokingly added that he wouldn’t want to live there, even if offered payment.

It wasn’t an accident that Sybil Stone intentionally styled herself after Diane Keaton. The overcoat she wears throughout the film looks so much like Keaton’s classic menswear style that you might mistake it for one – even though it’s actually a comfortable bathrobe.

That bathrobe, by the way, actually belonged to Buster Keaton himself. She wore it with her own pajamas, socks, and slippers.

When asked about how often she got covered in Meredith’s breakfast casserole—which frequently ends up spilled on the floor after Meredith drops it, but surprisingly helps her connect with Sybil and Amy—Parker simply said, “Many times.”

We rehearsed it extensively, exploring it from many perspectives,” she remembered. “We always had detailed conversations beforehand about how the scenes would play out… But the goal was to make it feel completely chaotic, impulsive, and unplanned.

Parker ended up completely soaked and had to remain that way for the rest of the shoot. It was impossible to clean up or recreate the spill, so he had to stay in the wet outfit for hours while they filmed close-ups.

Parker shared with Vulture that Meredith’s nervous habit of clearing her throat was part of the script right from the start.

Director Bezucha shared Victorian Christmas cards with costume designer Shay Cunliffe, describing their desired aesthetic as “warm, burnished, golden, and ruddy.” According to production notes, Bezucha asked Cunliffe to carry this color scheme into the film’s overall design and specifically requested that the costumes avoid any blue shades.

Cunliffe thought Wilson’s character, Ben Stone, who had traveled from Berkeley, California for the holidays, really needed to be wearing jeans. She ended up using corduroy pants instead, which she felt actually suited a laid-back, West Coast film editor who enjoys smoking marijuana.

Keaton wore headphones, Parker told Vulture, “basically until they call action.”

Honestly, the way she described it just gets me. She said it helps her focus, which, like, I totally understand! And that line about a set being ‘wonderfully chaotic’? Ugh, perfection! It’s exactly how I feel when I’m deep into anything related to her work. It’s beautiful chaos, you know?

Parker said the scene where Meredith gets drunk and lets loose was the most challenging she’d ever filmed. She explained that she doesn’t drink or enjoy dancing in her personal life, preferring to watch others. “I don’t dance in real life. I don’t go to clubs or dance at parties. I am happy that everyone else does and I love watching,” she told indieLondon, adding that the acting felt particularly awkward because of this.

Meredith finally makes a thoughtful gesture by giving each member of the Stone family a framed black and white photo of Sybil while she was pregnant with Amy.

As a huge fan, I was fascinated to learn the story behind that photo of Sybil! It turns out it wasn’t staged as some thought, but actually taken when she was 27 by her mother, Dorothy Deanne. It was later digitally altered to look like she was pregnant, but the original image came straight from Keaton’s personal collection.

Honestly, that moment really hit me hard – it was the most powerful part of the whole film for me. I think it resonated so deeply because, for me, the movie was ultimately about the relationship with one’s mother, and that scene just captured it perfectly. That’s what I told Girl.com.au when they asked.

Looking at that picture—and I really dislike that picture—I was struck by a strange feeling. It felt like the most genuine performance of my life, captured by my mother in that portrait. The themes of motherhood and respecting your mother really resonated with me, and I thought Tom Bezucha beautifully captured that feeling of life continuing. That photograph is truly my favorite moment from any film I’ve ever been a part of, simply because my mother took it.

Parker told CNN that Keaton was known for asking very personal and often provocative questions, covering topics like finances and other sensitive subjects.

The actress explained, “I believe it was her genuine interest in people.” She loved learning unique things about them and was fascinated by what made each person special.

And, Parker noted, Keaton was the first person she ever saw put ice cubes in a glass of Pinot Noir.

The director explained to the Wall Street Journal in 2023 that viewers are entitled to their reactions to The Family Stone, even if they dislike it. While the film has humorous moments, it’s ultimately a very sad story. ‘Everyone interprets it differently,’ the director said. ‘I understand why someone could completely dislike the movie—not just the characters, but the entire story. They might find it unbelievable, and that’s okay.’ Personally, the director always saw the film as having the same emotional structure as a classic Hollywood musical, just without the musical numbers.

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2025-12-16 11:19