Trump’s Tariffs: The Recession We Didn’t See Coming (But Totally Should Have)

So, Goldman Sachs—you know, the financial geniuses who probably have a private jet named after a spreadsheet—are now saying Trump’s tariffs might cause inflation. 🙄 Shocking, right? Who could’ve predicted that slapping taxes on everything would make things more expensive?

Apparently, core PCE inflation (that’s fancy talk for “stuff you buy but not food or gas”) is expected to hit 3.5% this year. That’s 1.5% higher than the Fed’s target. And here I thought inflation was just my gym membership fee going up every year.

Oh, and get this: unemployment is expected to rise from 4.1% to 4.5%. So, more people out of work, higher prices, and a 35% chance of a recession in the next year. 🎉 What a time to be alive!

Trump, meanwhile, is calling April 2nd “Liberation Day in America.” Liberation from what? Our wallets? Because that’s what it feels like. He’s planning to slap tariffs on countries around the world, which, let’s be honest, is like trying to fix a leaky faucet with a sledgehammer.

But wait, the Trump Administration is sending mixed signals about how severe these tariffs will be. Mixed signals? From this administration? I’m shocked. 😱

Goldman Sachs predicts the tariffs will average 15%, but they’ll probably get whittled down to 9%. So, only a little bit of economic chaos instead of a full-blown disaster. Progress!

In a recent interview, Trump refused to rule out a recession. “I hate to predict things like that,” he said. Oh, really? Because I hate when my Netflix subscription goes up, but here we are.

He also said, “We’re bringing wealth back to America.” Sure, Jan. Meanwhile, I’m over here wondering if I can afford avocados this week. 🥑

But hey, at least we’re building a “tremendous foundation for the future.” I just hope that foundation includes a discount aisle at the grocery store.

2025-04-01 15:01

Read More