How Robert Kiyosaki’s Bitcoin Bonanza Could Save Your Wallet from a Dumpster Fire

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Our dear Robert Kiyosaki, that eternal optimist in a waistcoat of doom, has rolled out a prophecy that mixes Great Depression gloom with Bitcoin moonshots worthy of a Monty Python sketch. 🎩💸

The Financial Titanic Sets Sail: Robert Declares the Iceberg Ahead!

Yes, Robert Kiyosaki—the chap who penned Rich Dad Poor Dad, a tome beloved by those who fancy themselves cunning financiers—has donned his doomsday monocle once more. After selling more copies than Aunt Agatha has knitted socks, he’s taken to the digital town crier’s platform, X (formerly Twitter, for the uninitiated), to announce that the good old US of A might be about to trip headlong into a Great Depression, because nothing says “fun times” like rising debt, unemployment, and stolen pensions. Jolly good show!

He gloomy-uttered: “Makes me sad: In 2025, credit card debt is at all-time highs. U.S. debt is at an all-time high. Unemployment is rising. 401ks are losing. Pensions are being stolen. USA may be heading for a Great Depression.” If ever a fellow sounded like the village Cassandra with a flair for finance, it’s this gent who also predicted a market collapse in Rich Dad’s Prophecy. Yet, like a prudent but eccentric uncle handing you an oddly shaped life preserver, he continues to preach the gospel of the Three Pillars: gold, silver, and that digital chimera, Bitcoin.

On April 20th, with the enthusiasm of a toad in a terrarium, Kiyosaki declared his belief that Bitcoin would rocket to somewhere between $180K and $200K in 2025. “Terrific!” said no one’s bank manager ever. 💥

Just two days hence, he pivoted to silver (because why not spread the cheer?): “I am buying more silver eagles today. The good news is silver is the biggest investment bargain today. Gold has already hit all-time highs. I have plenty of bitcoin. And silver is still 50% below its all-time high … today about $35. I believe silver will 2x to $70 this year.” You see, silver’s the fish and chips of the precious metals world—solid, dependable, and always better with a bit of vinegar.

“buy gold, silver, and bitcoin.” Oh, the dulcet tones of financial obsession! 📈

See here, the crisis is, in his opinion, a “once in a blue moon” sort of chance to get rich without having to invent new cryptocurrencies or marry into money. “For those who take action today … you may come through this crisis a very rich person. It’s not too late, if you take action. But if you wait, it may be too late, after the giant crash.” Quite the incentive not to dilly-dally over your tea and crumpets, eh?

Looking far into the crystal ball (or perhaps a particularly shiny Bitcoin), he suggests: “If a poor person bought a few ounces of gold or silver or 1/2 of a bitcoin, I predict they may become the new rich once this Depression is over.” Indeed, one hopes they also learn the secret handshake.

“I strongly believe, by 2035, that one bitcoin will be over $1 million, gold will be $30K, and silver $3,000 a coin.”

“It will be the easiest money you ever made. Those who wait in fear… may be the biggest losers,” he adds, no doubt pausing to sip his morning brew as he types this dire warning.

To wrap up this financial fairy tale, Robert drops his final entreaty with all the charm of a street corner preacher selling miracle elixirs: “This coming Great Depression will cause millions to be poor… and a few who take action may enjoy great wealth and freedom. The giant crash I predicted… the crash that is occurring now… may be the opportunity of your lifetime… to achieve great wealth and, more importantly, financial freedom. Please don’t waste this giant crash.” Naturally, he reminds us all that the smart money still favors gold, silver, and that slippery digital beast, Bitcoin.

So, dear reader, if you’re feeling just a touch brave (or recklessly optimistic), perhaps it’s time to raid your piggy bank and dabble in some shiny trifles before the economic ship either sinks or sails. Either way, do keep a stiff upper lip—and a bitcoin wallet handy. 🚢💰

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2025-04-25 02:57