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“Patience, dear mortals, patience.”

While President Trump characterizes the economy as the strongest in history with no inflation, this position stands at odds with the latest data. Which, of course, is just a fancy word for “the universe is trying to tell you something, but you’re too busy admiring your own reflection.”

Despite a very difficult market for altcoins – with many near record lows and trading volume declining – analyst Darkfost has noticed some positive activity. Large investors are starting to focus on a few specific tokens, and Chainlink is among them. This is unusual given the current overall downturn in the altcoin market.

Chairman Selig, with the fervor of a man who’s seen the future and returned, insists blockchain is no mere fad. It is, he proclaims, the architectural blueprint for a new financial utopia, one that might just restore the trust banks squandered like confetti at a funeral.

Returning from a three-month nap (or was it a sabbatical?), Tyler leapt back into the world of high-stakes gambling on Stake, a casino platform where he’s paid to gamble like a man possessed. But oh, what a disaster! He lost ten million dollars in two sessions, then tried to claw back four million on Keno. It’s like trying to fill a bottomless pit with confetti.

Now, according to the good folks at Ta Kung Wen Wei, a Hong Kong news outlet with a name that’s a mouthful, Li Xiong was part of a gang that helped scam artists across Asia launder their ill-gotten gains. He was escorted back to China from Phnom Penh, Cambodia, with a statement from China’s Ministry of Public Security on WeChat seal of approval. That’s right, folks, even the cops are goin’ digital these days.