Bitcoin Billionaires: They’re Buying AGAIN 🤯

The Blockchain Group – Capital B, they call themselves, as if capital needed another boastful label (ISIN: FR0011053636; ALCPB) – has, after much deliberation and a likely amount of frantic keyboard clicking, confirmed the obvious: they’ve acquired another 551 Bitcoins. A sum amounting to, let’s see… approximately $64.3 million (€54.7 million). One imagines champagne corks popping and a collective sigh of relief that the digital gold rush hasn’t quite passed them by. They now possess a grand total of 2,800 Bitcoins, a hoard valued at roughly $307 million (€261 million). All secured, naturally, at an average price of $109,542 per Bitcoin (€93,205 – a figure rich with the poetic irony of abstract finance). 💸

The reports sing of a “BTC Yield” – a phrase one suspects was crafted by a marketing department having a particularly enthusiastic Tuesday – of 1,651.2% YTD (or 27.8% QTD, for those who prefer their illusions in quarterly installments). A “BTC Gain” of 660.5 Bitcoin (496.3 QTD). 🙄 It’s all quite dizzying, isn’t it? And oh, the euro gain! €65.6 million YTD (€49.3 million QTD). One is expected to be impressed, I gather.

Further fueling this digital frenzy, they managed to complete a €2.2 million capital increase (at €2.24 per share – a modest sum for a revolution, wouldn’t you say?), fully subscribed by the enigmatic Adam Back (announced, with appropriate fanfare, on August 18, 2025). This enabled the purchase of a further 21 Bitcoin (€2.1 million). As if that weren’t enough, a separate “Accelerated Bookbuilding” (the terminology alone suggests a desperate scramble) at €1.55 per share raised €58.1 million (announced September 16, 2025), which then, predictably, vanished into the ether in the form of 530 more Bitcoins (€52.6 million). They even, with a display of bureaucratic thoroughness, accounted for potential future share dilutions; a serene acknowledgement that this whole edifice is built on shifting sands. Such prudence! A rare commodity these days. 🧐

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2025-09-22 12:02