Key points:
-
Bitcoin’s basically just copying gold’s homework… again. Who knew digital cash and shiny rocks are BFFs? 🤷♂️
-
BTC’s “reversal confirmation” is taking longer than my ex’s goodbye. Dip to $100k? Still on the table. Probably. 🎱
-
September week three? Bitcoin’s got a 100% track record of making you look foolish. Welcome to the club. 🙃
Bitcoin (BTC) surged with gold Tuesday like they’re in a heist movie. Bulls are out here crunching short liquidity like it’s last week’s snack. 🍿
Trader: BTC price still due $100,000 dip
BTC hit $111,775 on Bitstamp-because why not? Gold’s at $3,500/oz now, because apparently, we’re all just printing money and calling it “assets.” 💸
$60 million in short liquidations? Bulls flexing their short-squeeze muscles. CoinGlass must’ve sneezed and created chaos. 🤧
Crypto commentators? They’re just here to say “wait and see” while we all panic-sell our life savings. 🤡
Keith Alan’s chart looks like a Rorschach test for crypto bros. “21-day SMA confluence”? Sounds like a bad date. 💔
“BTC Bulls need to R/S Flip their way out of this mess… or else face a Death Cross that’s more dramatic than a breakup text. 🚫”
Marcus Corvinus says it’s a “critical moment” – which is code for “hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” 🤷♂️
“Heavy bearish candles? Buyers are losing grip like I lost my keys. Breakdown incoming? Maybe. Or maybe just a midlife crisis. 🚗💨”
Roman’s here to argue, “No reversal yet!” because why admit they’re wrong? “Touch $100k soon?” Sure, let’s all pray to the crypto gods. 🙏
Bitcoin dips “100% of the time” in September week three
Timothy Peterson: September = crypto’s version of tax season. “3.5% average loss since 2013?” That’s not volatility-it’s a vibe check. 🧐
“Between the 16th and 23rd, Bitcoin dumps 100% of the time. Because nothing says ‘confidence’ like a guaranteed -5% drop. 🙃”
Read More
- Best Controller Settings for ARC Raiders
- DCU Nightwing Contender Addresses Casting Rumors & Reveals His Other Dream DC Role [Exclusive]
- Ashes of Creation Rogue Guide for Beginners
- 7 Home Alone Moments That Still Make No Sense (And #2 Is a Plot Hole)
- Stephen Colbert Jokes This Could Be Next Job After Late Show Canceled
- 10 X-Men Batman Could Beat (Ranked By How Hard It’d Be)
- Is XRP ETF the New Stock Market Rockstar? Find Out Why Everyone’s Obsessed!
- 28 Years Ago Today, The Simpsons Sparked Controversy With a 10/10 Episode Banned in Some Regions
- Bitcoin’s Bullish Blunders: The $98,000 Soap Opera 🎭
- DC K.O.: Superman vs Captain Atom #1 Uses a Fight as Character Study (Review)
2025-09-02 19:22