Bitcoin Goes Bonkers, Gold Goes “I Told You So” 😅

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Key points:

  • Bitcoin’s basically just copying gold’s homework… again. Who knew digital cash and shiny rocks are BFFs? 🤷♂️

  • BTC’s “reversal confirmation” is taking longer than my ex’s goodbye. Dip to $100k? Still on the table. Probably. 🎱

  • September week three? Bitcoin’s got a 100% track record of making you look foolish. Welcome to the club. 🙃

Bitcoin (BTC) surged with gold Tuesday like they’re in a heist movie. Bulls are out here crunching short liquidity like it’s last week’s snack. 🍿

Trader: BTC price still due $100,000 dip

BTC hit $111,775 on Bitstamp-because why not? Gold’s at $3,500/oz now, because apparently, we’re all just printing money and calling it “assets.” 💸

$60 million in short liquidations? Bulls flexing their short-squeeze muscles. CoinGlass must’ve sneezed and created chaos. 🤧

Crypto commentators? They’re just here to say “wait and see” while we all panic-sell our life savings. 🤡

Keith Alan’s chart looks like a Rorschach test for crypto bros. “21-day SMA confluence”? Sounds like a bad date. 💔

“BTC Bulls need to R/S Flip their way out of this mess… or else face a Death Cross that’s more dramatic than a breakup text. 🚫”

Marcus Corvinus says it’s a “critical moment” – which is code for “hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” 🤷♂️

“Heavy bearish candles? Buyers are losing grip like I lost my keys. Breakdown incoming? Maybe. Or maybe just a midlife crisis. 🚗💨”

Roman’s here to argue, “No reversal yet!” because why admit they’re wrong? “Touch $100k soon?” Sure, let’s all pray to the crypto gods. 🙏

Bitcoin dips “100% of the time” in September week three

Timothy Peterson: September = crypto’s version of tax season. “3.5% average loss since 2013?” That’s not volatility-it’s a vibe check. 🧐

“Between the 16th and 23rd, Bitcoin dumps 100% of the time. Because nothing says ‘confidence’ like a guaranteed -5% drop. 🙃”

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2025-09-02 19:22