Bullish IPO: Crypto Dreams or Just a Fiasco?

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Oh, darling, isn’t this simply divine? Bullish, you see—a little cryptocurrency exchange owned by Bullish Global, naturally—has decided to grace us with an initial public offering in the United States. 🙄 As if we haven’t had enough excitement, haven’t we? They intend to flutter onto the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) under the rather unimaginative ticker “BLSH.” One wonders if they couldn’t have come up with something a tad more…memorable.

The details, of course, are deliciously vague. The number of shares and the price? Still shrouded in a fog of uncertainty. Apparently, the underwriters have been granted a 30-day option to purchase more shares. Rather like being offered another canapé when you’re already quite full, wouldn’t you say? 🥂

Now, the financials! They reported a rather respectable $80 million net income for 2024. How very commendable. But then, just when you think everything’s perfectly charming, they stumble in the first quarter of 2025, losing a staggering $349 million! A far cry from the $104.8 million net profit they enjoyed the year before. One almost feels sorry for them. *Almost.* 😉

Still, they insist they have over $1.9 billion in liquid assets—cash, Bitcoin (BTC), stablecoins, the usual digital frippery. One assumes it’s all perfectly secure. One hopes. 🙏

Bullish’s Little Empire

It seems Bullish operates through a rather extensive network of subsidiaries—Hong Kong, the Cayman Islands, Singapore, the United Kingdom, Germany, and Gibraltar. Really, they’re spreading themselves rather thin, aren’t they? Particularly those Hong Kong subsidiaries, which provide engineering, cybersecurity, custody, and technology services. Apparently, they’re rather useful chaps. 🎩

The Financial Times, bless their journalistic hearts, reported this all last month. And Jefferies, the American investment bank, is apparently the lead underwriter. How frightfully modern. They even had a go at a SPAC deal back in 2021, didn’t they? But those markets turned rather nasty, and the whole thing collapsed. Rather like a soufflé, wouldn’t you agree?

But look, there’s a flicker of hope! Circle, the USDC stablecoin people, had a rather successful public debut, didn’t they? A 167% gain on the first day! Goodness gracious. And Gemini, those Winklevoss twins—yes, those Winklevoss twins—are also reportedly filing for a listing. They’re rather keen on supporting Mr. Trump, and crypto-focused political action committees. How terribly…American. 🇺🇸

A Presidential Decree and Crypto Cheer

And just to add a final flourish to this rather chaotic tableau, President Trump has signed the GENIUS Act! Apparently, this is the first major US legislation to regulate cryptocurrency, especially the stablecoin market. Quite a momentous occasion, one might say. A bipartisan effort, no less! Though apparently, a dozen conservative Republicans tried to block it. One can never have too much drama, can one?

The signing ceremony included all the usual suspects—members of Congress, leaders from Robinhood, Tether, and Gemini. One imagines there was a great deal of handshaking and self-congratulation. 🍾 A truly glittering affair, I’m sure.

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2025-07-19 11:16