Not a bit of it, old bean! With spot-led rebounds and a record-breaking $227 billion in derivatives OI, the market’s just having a spot of spring cleaning. A healthy reset, if you will. 🧹✨
Strive Inc., one of them fancy publicly traded bitcoin treasure hunters, announced on a brisk September 22nd that they’d gone and bought Semler Scientific Inc. with all the stock they could muster, valuing each Semler critter at a juicy $90.52-why, that’s a 210% premium on what Semler was sellin’ it for just days earlier! Each share of Semler flips over into about 21 of Strive’s Class A shares, like magic but with numbers.
On the daily chart, Sui has been forming higher lows, a key indicator of an uptrend. The ascending triangle pattern is emerging, marked by a horizontal upper resistance near $3.90-$4.50 and a rising lower trendline. 📈 A dance of hope and despair, where buyers cautiously push the price higher while sellers, like stubborn gatekeepers, defend their posts. 🏰
The rebranding spectacle unfolds as AVAX One, an ambitious chimera aiming to hoard a princely sum-$550 million in cold, digital Avalanche coins. Their vision? To cradle in their treasury more than $700 million in AVAX tokens, the native heralds of the Avalanche blockchain kingdom.
A data breach that occurred in 2023 at 🐟Crypto.com compromised the personal information of its users, according to a disclosure by Bloomberg. The hacking was planned by a well-known hacker organization known as Scattered Spider. 🤡
But they are not alone in their audacity. Michael Saylor, the high priest of Bitcoin, has cast his $99 million into the abyss, while Metaplanet, with a flourish worthy of a Japanese kabuki theater, has pledged $632 million to the cause. 🎭
The peso, that once-proud currency, tumbled 4.5% last week like a debutante at her first waltz. Investors, ever the fickle paramours, questioned President Milei’s reformist prowess after his party’s electoral drubbing. And lo! A corruption scandal involving Milei’s kin emerged, because nothing says “political stability” like a family drama penned by Shakespeare’s less-optimistic cousin.
AgriFORCE Growing Systems (AGRI) – now rebranded as AVAX One because “AgriFORCE” was SOOOO last season – announced a $550 million capital raise to become the first Nasdaq-listed AVAX token accumulator. Because why not gamble your retirement savings on a blockchain token named after a natural disaster? 🎰
With a $1.3 billion construction pipeline already cooking, VENU’s betting big on crypto to hit $1 billion in ticket revenue. By 2030? They want $2 billion across 40 venues. Because why stop at concerts when you can also sell NFTs for FireSuites? 🏰🔥 (P.S. Those are projected to make $200 million by 2025. Priorities, right?)
Behold, the greatest meme coin of our time-a digital trinket born of irony, now crowned a large-cap titan. In mere six months, it has surged 50%, a feat that sends the soothsayers of the market into frenzied speculation. Could this be the prelude to a full-blown altcoin bacchanalia? 🍾🤡
