Meanwhile, the crypto market threw a rather tepid soiree over the past 24 hours. Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH) pranced about in positive territory, while Dogecoin (DOGE) and Litecoin (LTC) sulked in the corner, trading red like a pair of overcooked lobsters. 📉
SPX6900 is making waves this week, folks. After scraping the bottom near $0.44 on Monday (you know, just a casual dip), it’s now bouncing up like a meme coin that had one too many Red Bulls, sitting comfortably around $0.56. Those green candles on the chart? Pure meme magic.
Behold! A whale on Hyperliquid, the master of misery, has turned a massive $24 million profit on Bitcoin shorts. Analytics platform Lookonchain identified this audacious trader, 0x5D2F, who’s been holding his short position on Bitcoin for over six months. A true glutton for pain – and profit.
He declared, with the gravitas of a man who has seen too many scams, that the official crosschain contracts of Shiba Inu, those mystical links between chains, are proudly displayed on the sacred website of SHIB itself. Any who claim otherwise are, he suggests with a wink, probably trying to pull a fast one-perhaps even attempting to steal what little remains in the pockets of the faithful. Be wary, dear holders, lest your tokens vanish like smoke in a windy alley. 😏
Digitap, you see, is not just a bank-it’s an omni-bank, a financial Swiss Army knife! Instant payments, deposits, withdrawals, transfers-you name it, it does it, all while flipping the bird to KYC requirements. 🏦✨ With its presale price lingering under $0.03, $TAP is like a golden ticket to Wonka’s factory, offering potential returns that’ll make your wallet do the happy dance. XRP, on the other hand, is more like a cup of lukewarm tea-reliable but hardly thrilling. 🍵😴
Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin, in a dramatic flair worthy of a reality TV meltdown, warned that Ethereum’s soul is at risk if BlackRock keeps hoarding ETH like it’s the last buffet line at a corporate retreat. “Existential threats? Yes. NFTs of my face? No. Not yet,” he sighed.
A growing rift between Core Foundation and Maple Finance has reached a crescendo, as a Cayman Islands court blocked Maple’s syrupBTC rollout. Core argues that Maple broke their agreement on lstBTC, the Bitcoin yield product they once cherished. 🎭
Last month, Bloomberg reported that some influential investors in Asia were gearing up to launch an Ethereum trust. The group involved the likes of Li Lin, founder of Huobi cryptocurrency exchange, Shen Bo, co-founder of Fenbushi Capital, and Xiao Feng, chairman and CEO of HashKey Group. 🐋💸
XRP, now below $2.15, has its community in a state of existential dread. Half the holders, once buoyant with optimism, now resemble a troupe of actors in a particularly grim play. Denial has been replaced by a somber awareness, like realizing your in-laws are coming for dinner.
On a day not unlike any other in the age of spectacle, WhiteBIT announced-as though unveiling a new tractor model at a Soviet fair-that it had entered into “strategic cooperation” with Durrah AlFodah Holding. Representing them, none other than His Royal Highness Prince Naif Bin Abdullah Bin Saud Bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, a man whose name alone could fill a five-year plan. Together, they shall lift the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia into the stratosphere of digital finance, blockchain governance, and-naturally-data infrastructure. All in accordance with Vision 2030, which, let us be honest, is less a vision and more a shopping list written in PowerPoint.
