Cryptonews

Back in September 2024, ENA/USD hovered near a modest $0.20, a humble beginning before it burst forth in a glorious rally, soaring to about $1.20-a 525% ascent, a triumph for the brave and foolish alike. Now, that same demand zone re-emerges like an old friend with bad memories, beckoning once more. Picture it: a chart that resembles the past, teasing perhaps a replication of triumph or merely the ghost of prior glory, as markets respond to the siren call of liquidity and historical demand-those old friends of traders. Watch closely, for within these shadows lies potential-perhaps good news, or just another tease from the gods of volatility. 🔮

A major crypto investor, dubbed “whale 0x7771,” has exited a significant ASTER position, leaving behind a trail of tears and a wallet lighter by $667,000. The wallet, which had acquired the tokens two weeks prior, sold three million ASTER at an average price of $0.78, a decision that has left the whale’s finances in disarray. 📉

Норвежский фонд, великан капитала, теперь танцует под звуки биткоина. Норвежская банк инвестирования (NBIM), управляющая $2 трлн, поддержала все пять предложений перед собранием акционеров 22 декабря. Как будто они не могли не поддержать. 🙃

Summary

YoungHoon Kim, a man whose IQ of 276 allegedly qualifies him to converse with squirrels about quantum economics, posted on social media that XRP could dethrone Ethereum’s market cap by 2026. He added that this was “just vibes” and not financial advice, which is lawyer-speak for “don’t sue me when this goes sideways.”

Enter stage left: the evergreen Cassandra of crypto, Mike McGlone of Bloomberg Intelligence, who insists $10K is the new black for Bitcoin. Not a prediction for tomorrow, mind you, but a cheerful reminder that markets, like overzealous debutantes, swing from euphoria to despair with alarming zeal. “Catastrophe!” they cry, ignoring the inconvenient truth that volatility is the only constant this side of a Victorian divorce. 📉

According to their grand announcement (which probably involved a PowerPoint presentation with 37 slides), Project Eleven did a “quantum threat audit” on Solana and built a testnet using post-quantum digital signatures. They claim these transactions are “practical and scalable,” which is impressive if you ignore the fact that post-quantum crypto is usually slower than watching paint dry. 🐢

Caroline Ellison, the former CEO of the defunct venture capital firm Alameda Research and key witness in the FTX fraud trial, has reportedly transitioned out of the Danbury Federal Correctional Institution in Connecticut after serving 11 months of her two-year sentence. According to Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) records, Ellison was transferred on Oct. 16 to “community confinement,” a custodial arrangement where she will serve the remainder of her term in a halfway house or under home confinement. How glamorous.

After weeks of clingin’ to their tokens like a hog to mud, those noble creatures-the whales-have finally turned tail. With both spot and derivatives data whisperin’ “danger, Will Robinson!” the charts now hint at a 10% nosedive if key levels crumble like a biscuit in a thunderstorm.

In a delightful twist befitting a grand comedy of errors, Valour, a charming subsidiary of Nasdaq-listed DeFi Technologies, has received the coveted seal of approval to showcase its Solana Exchange Traded Product (ETP) on Brazil’s bustling B3 stock exchange. With this splendid addition, Valour not only expands its offerings in Brazil-where it has already charmed the likes of Bitcoin, Ethereum, XRP, and Sui-but also fortifies its ambition of global conquest. Who knew digital assets could be so romantic? 💘