Melker, who last compiled this riveting list in 2023 (a simpler time, when Bitcoin was merely expensive rather than eye-wateringly so), now offers a fresh snapshot of how ownership has evolved-or, more accurately, how some wallets have grown plump while others remain as thin as a dieting greyhound.
By Shayan, who presumably knows these things better than your average bloke lounging at the club.
Meanwhile, the SEC’s review process is about as predictable as a soap opera-delays, inconsistencies, plot twists that make you want to throw your phone. Grayscale’s doing their best to be the cool kids with more options than just Bitcoin and Ethereum-because who doesn’t want extra layers of complicated obsession?
Meanwhile, Cardanians-a group on X who probably spend more time refreshing charts than talking to their mothers-spill the gefilte fish with this tweet:
Yes, dear reader, while you were busy debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it doesn’t), the specter of quantum computing loomed large over humanity’s favorite cryptocurrency. These futuristic machines might one day crack open Bitcoin’s cryptographic shell like a piñata at a birthday party. But fear not-El Salvador is here to save us all… or at least its own 6,274 BTC.
Volatility? Oh, my friend, volatility is but a mild descriptor for what Ethereum is enduring right now. It’s as if the entire crypto market has decided to pack up its bags, bid Bitcoin adieu (for now), and move into greener pastures-or rather, bluer ones. Why? Because Ethereum isn’t just some shiny altcoin anymore; no, it’s the beating heart of decentralized finance, the NFT maestro, the blockchain backbone upon which empires are being built. Or so they tell us. 😏
Dearest Ethereum Foundation (EF), ever the visionary, has unveiled a roadmap so audacious, it makes a Bond villain’s plan look like a school play. The goal? To transform L2 cross-chain transactions into a seamless, if slightly more expensive, cup of tea. ☕
But wait, there’s more! As part of this Hollywood-style merger saga, Gryphon Digital Mining is doing what every good company does when things get too crowded: a five-for-one reverse stock split. This little magic trick shrinks their shares down to about 16.6 million. It’s like shrinking your waistline after Thanksgiving dinner-except instead of pie, they’re serving up Bitcoin ambitions. 🍰 And let’s not forget who’s behind the curtain here: Eric and Donald Trump Jr., rebranding masters extraordinaire. Their goal? To turn American Bitcoin into the Scrooge McDuck of treasury-focused miners. Quack quack. 🦆
Your beloved buddies at Amplify are aiming for personal finance nirvana: a reliable monthly paycheck for investors plus a chance to twirl alongside XRP’s price waltz using a savvy covered call strategy. 🕺✨
The clamoring for diversified crypto investments has morphed from a mere murmur into a cacophony of desire. Permit me to present the essential knowledge to navigate this unfolding tale.