On the 1-hour chart, XRP has drawn a bearish engulfing pattern near $2.886, which is basically the crypto version of saying, “Nah, I don’t want to go up anymore.” 😢 The price has since been drifting sideways like a lost tourist, stabilizing around $2.80 with low volume. If you’re thinking, “This looks like a party,” congratulations-you’ve just mastered the art of reading a flat chart. 🎉
September hit the ground running with bullish momentum that’s hard to miss. The PUMP/USD chart was practically screaming “buy me!” as the 20-day EMA crossed above the 50-day EMA-a glorious signal that things are looking up. The price didn’t just flirt with the rising wedge’s upper border, it straight-up bulldozed through it, creating all sorts of space for an extended rally. Hold on tight, we’re in for a ride! 📈💥
It’s official! The crypto world just took a giant step forward as the revised bill advanced from the House Banking Committee. Now, it’s headed to the Senate (because, of course, why stop at one committee when you can have five?). The bill aims to separate the ever-so-blurry lines between digital assets, securities, and commodities. But wait, there’s more!
Ah, the sweet sting of rejection! MicroStrategy, now modestly rebranded as Strategy (perhaps to remind us of their strategic missteps?), was snubbed by the oh-so-prestigious S&P 500 Index, causing a delightful 2.9% plunge in its stock price after hours on the 5th of September.
Meet Thumzup Media Corporation, backed by none other than Donald Trump Jr. – because, why not throw some star power into the mix? They’re aiming to be Canada’s (ooh, scratch that – North America’s) big-dog (pun absolutely intended) in dogecoin mining. After snapping up $2 million worth of bitcoin like last season’s sunglasses in January 2025, they decided that wasn’t enough and totally fancied up with a $50 million stock offering. It’s all about that mining infrastructure and crypto-stashing life now!
Some see Tempo as an opportunity to expand user adoption and fortify cross-chain infrastructure-how noble of them! Others, however, sniff mischief, questioning its so-called “neutrality” and pondering if Stripe harbors ulterior motives. Could Tempo be the catalyst that propels stablecoins into the mainstream? Or is it destined to become yet another footnote in the annals of blockchain history? Only time (and perhaps a dash of regulatory scrutiny) will tell. ⏳
As the Financial Times whispered, Tether isn’t content with one chunk of the supply chain-they want it all. Mining, refining, trading, royalties… if there’s gold in it, someone at Tether’s counting bars in their sleep. Maybe they’ll even find a pan that fits a blockchain, who knows?
Apparently, September is Bitcoin’s least favorite month. Since 2011, it’s been the only month where Bitcoin consistently says, “Nope, not today,” and posts negative returns. CryptoRank data shows it’s like the Monday of months for Bitcoin, with an average loss of 4.96%. Traders call it the “September curse,” but I call it “the month my 401k takes a nap.” 😴
Shares of MSTR promptly forgot how to go north and stumbled over 2% in the after-hours trading, presumably tripping over their own blockchain. Bitcoin, meanwhile, is busy impersonating an indecisive goldfish, now exchanging virtual paws at $110,832-a 0.5% tumble, according to CoinGecko (which, for all we know, employs actual geckos for data accuracy 🦎).
Just today, gold sashayed its way past the $3,600 mark for the first time ever. If gold were a person, it’d be the kind that shows up to reunions looking ten years younger and bragging about their CrossFit gains.