Cryptonews

$DOGE, that paragon of cryptocurrency, is now a model of composure. The recent plunge from the ascending wedge-oh, how it danced!-precisely met the measured move, only to be snatched up by the collective delirium of buyers. The price has not yet returned to the wedge, but instead, it hovers along the $0.20 horizontal support line, a lifeline for the desperate. This is major support, as evidenced by the previous price action, which was about as reliable as a weather forecast in a hurricane. With Stochastic RSI indicators at their nadir, poised to cross back up, building a position here is a gamble as thrilling as a game of Russian roulette with a single bullet. If the price falls below support, one can only pray for a miracle. 🐕

After a valiant rebound from the $107,800 nadir (a price so low, one might mistake it for a typo), Bitcoin has swaggered back to $113,000, buoyed by the ghostly whispers of demand zones and the faint hope of spot traders who’ve clearly read too many horoscopes. But now, dear reader, the beast faces a most treacherous hurdle: the $114,500-$115,000 resistance, where profit-taking has historically multiplied like rabbits at a garden party. If BTC falters here, it may find itself tumbling toward $110,000-or worse, the abyss of existential dread. 🐇💣

They’re trying to maximize BTC yield per share and restore “market confidence” while their stock trades below the value of their crypto hoard. It’s like your stock portfolio decided to go on a shopping spree and forgot to check its wallet. 💸

Markets, ever the hopeful gamblers, have already laid their bets, 96.7% sure the Fed will cut rates. But don’t be fooled-traders are already eyeing December like a hungry wolf, whispering of another 25 bps. Yet the real show? Chair Powell’s speech, where he might drop hints like seeds in the soil, waiting for the harvest. 🌱

Chainlink’s Proof of Reserve is here to ensure GLDY’s gold backing is as verifiable as a witch’s hat in Ankh-Morpork, providing institutional investors with tamper-proof data. Because if your gold reserves can’t be audited by a bemused golem, are they even gold?

According to an Oct. 28 forum post (because blockchain folks love writing post-mortems more than Shakespeare loved sonnets), the exchange team found 27 claims that weren’t just people crying over spilled crypto.

Open Interest did a little happy dance up 7.7% to $695 million, because nothing says “bullish” like strangers on the internet agreeing to gamble together.

Crypto analyst Donny Dicey, whose wisdom is as reliable as a weather forecast in a hurricane, recently took to X to declare that the $116,000 price level is the decisive zone Bitcoin must breach to confirm a breakout. His technical analysis, a masterclass in circular logic, suggests that once BTC achieves a clean break above this resistance area, momentum could swiftly carry it to $126,000. One might ask: why not aim for the moon? 🌙

According to the oh-so-trustworthy Bloomberg, Citi is venturing beyond the mundane realm of fiat, embracing a world where money can leap instantaneously across digital borders, turning sleepy clients into jittery explorers of the crypto continent. Their head of payments, Debopama Sen, decries the need for “programmability” and “conditional payments,” which sounds remarkably like enabling your money to make decisions-perhaps even voting on whether to buy that third latte.

Backed by Metaplanet CEO Simon Gerovich and Sora Ventures (the dynamic duo of institutional crypto expansion), this isn’t just a phase-it’s a full-blown identity crisis. Or, as they call it, “an ongoing daily accumulation program.” Because nothing says “we’re serious” like buying Bitcoin every day until the cows come home. 🐮