Cryptonews

Hong Kong, that’s who! ChinaAMC rolled out their ETF while the U.S. was busy arguing about staplers. Asia’s basically the crypto cool kid now. 😎

With the U.S. Treasury Secretary promising a “delay” on export controls (a delay! As if time itself might pause!), and the Federal Reserve poised to sprinkle its rate-cutting fairy dust, Kendrick’s eyes gleam with the fervor of a man who’s seen too many market cycles. “Investors, take heart!” he cries, “For this is the dawn of Bitcoin’s eternal reign!” 🌅

This haven, they claim, supports the entire digital asset lifecycle-from custody to transactions to settlement. It operates across more than 40 blockchains, both public and private. Impressive, is it not? Yet, one wonders, in this vast digital expanse, where does the soul of the asset truly reside? 🤔

This dynamic duo is combining Coinbase’s snazzy digital asset infrastructure with Citi’s all-powerful global payments network, which, in case you didn’t know, stretches across 94 markets and more than 300 clearing systems. Together, they plan to make it a whole lot easier for institutions to swap between fiat and crypto in real-time-because who wants to wait for a wire transfer anyway?

Forget speculative assets-XRP is now the legal equivalent of your grandma’s antique vase. Just replace “cryptographic keys” with “rusty key under the doormat” and voilà, you’re in a courtroom drama. 🎩

In a year where crypto’s been more drama than drama (looking at you, rug pulls), Kraken’s numbers scream “legit.” Their Q3? So hot it could melt Bitcoin’s ice bath. 🔥

BNB

$1,143

24h volatility:
0.9%

Market cap:
$157.18 B

Vol. 24h:
$2.97 B

In October of 2025, Mr. Trump’s rhetoric toward China-a veritable tempest in a teapot-took center stage, dictating the sharp price swings of Bitcoin and the delicate emotions of its investors. The Net Unrealized Profit/Loss (NUPL) indicator, a barometer of market sentiment as reliable as a spinster’s gossip, reflected the shifting moods with remarkable precision. On the 10th, when Mr. Trump threatened tariffs of 100% on Chinese imports, Bitcoin tumbled by 8.4% to a modest $104,800. NUPL, ever the sensitive soul, dipped below 0.50, a level historically associated with rising fear and the urge to flee with one’s profits. 🤑

On paper, AI and Bitcoin mining seem to share a mutual distaste for electricity bills. Both demand sprawling data centers, specialized chips, and air conditioning that could freeze a penguin. Yet their computational philosophies diverge like a divorce settlement: AI thrives on GPU-fueled matrix math, while Bitcoin clings to its SHA-256 obsessions like a Victorian spinster to her corset. It’s not a rivalry; it’s a sitcom.

Bitcoin reached $114,500 for the weekly close as bulls staged a much-needed comeback, but many traders remained unconvinced. 🐶📈