Well, well, well! The crypto circus is in town, and the clowns are bearish! According to a report by Cryptoquant (published on March 13, because even doom needs a calendar), Binance’s ETH funding rates have taken a nosedive into the land of negativity. Since January, these rates have been doing the limbo-how low can they go? Spoiler: Pretty low.
In a statement posted on X, organizers of Token2049 said the event would not take place this year and would instead return in April 2027. “In collaboration with our partners and stakeholders, and in light of the ongoing uncertainty in the region and its impact on safety, international travel, and logistics, Token2049 Dubai will be postponed to 21-22 April 2027,” the event organizers wrote in an announcement. A statement so polished, it’s almost believable.
On March 13, the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals voted 7-3 against rehearing the case-because democracy and a nice round number. That means an earlier October ruling remains in place, where the court decided Federal Reserve banks can pick and choose who gets to play in the banking sandbox like it’s a VIP lounge at a disco.
Behold, the latest marvel of modern ingenuity: MoonPay, that crypto payments firm with the audacity to exist, has declared war on human laziness by enabling its AI trading agents to sign transactions via Ledger devices. A bold move, or perhaps a tragicomedy in the making.
Earlier this year, the asset stumbled, its downward spiral a tragic poem penned by the gods of finance. Now, a modest ascent, a staircase of support, allows the buyers to whisper of hope. But the market, that fickle muse, offers only a smirk-stabilization, perhaps, but at what cost?
On the ides of March (yes, Friday the 13th, no less), Kitao announced that SBI ARUHI, a mortgage-slinging outfit under the SBI umbrella, is now part of the XRP reward program. That’s right, folks-if you’ve got a stake in SBI ARUHI, you might just find yourself the proud owner of some XRP tokens. Who needs a gold watch when you can have a digital coin that’s as unpredictable as a Missouri weather forecast?
The aggregated taker buy/sell volume, that most sacred of metrics, reveals a curious duality: 52.35% long, 47.65% short. A mere whisper of bullish intent, yet the traders, those poor deluded wretches, fancy themselves architects of destiny. Behold Binance, OKX, and Bybit, each a cathedral of greed, their long positions towering like the spires of a cathedral built on sand. How long before the tide of reason washes their delusions away?
In a move that sounds like it’s straight out of a crypto dream, XRP has officially launched FXRP on Coinbase’s Base network. And guess what? XRP holders now have access to a DeFi ecosystem valued at a cool $4.2 billion. Impressive, right? You can thank the Base network, which ranks #4 globally by Total Value Locked (TVL) behind Ethereum, Solana, and Binance Smart Chain. So, now XRP holders can actually do something with their coins beyond just holding them and hoping. You’re welcome, I guess.
Since the Stablecoins Ordinance rolled out in August 2025, the HKMA is tightly controlling who gets to mint fiat‑backed coins. After reviewing 36 applications, it’s giving the keys to a select few.
Yet NEAR, that once-proud colt, now limps through the dust, its value more than 90% shy of its high. A 90% drawdown! Why, that’s like watching your favorite ranch hand turn into a scarecrow overnight. Still, the market whispers of new catalysts-mirage-like saviors that might lift the token or vanish like smoke in the panhandle wind.
