Friday’s ETF trading was a masterclass in financial theatrics. While Bitcoin and ether ETFs bled like a sadistic horror movie, Solana and XRP strutted in like they’d just won the crypto lottery. Investors, apparently, are now taking a crash course in “abandon ship” strategy. 🚫💸
CryptoWzrd, with his crystal ball foggy yet somehow still reliable, says XRP was in harmony with Bitcoin-not surprising, given that Bitcoin’s moods swing harder than a novelist caught in a storm. Today’s candle ended slightly bearish, perhaps echoing Bitcoin’s mood swing, like a parental sigh of disdain. Yet, oh wonder, XRP showed a glimmer of strength! As if daring the universe to prove its skepticism wrong, it closed bullish, hinting at a possible shift-a nascent hope that maybe, just maybe, the tides are turning towards the $2.75 horizon, which for now has become the Holy Grail for traders: the promised land of profit, or perhaps just a clever marketing slogan.
It’s the sort of upgrade that’ll make the techies jump for joy and the rest of us wonder if Pi’s finally caught a whiff of real progress or just playing dress-up. The Pi Core Team even made a fancy demo video so you can see the magic in action, showing off how you can export, tweak, and re-upload your little digital babies with all the flair of a master chef.
Speaking of Bitcoin-that darling of the digital realm, trading at $95,740 with a volatility of 0.8% and a market cap of $1.91 trillion-its ETFs suffered net outflows of $1.112 billion from Nov. 10 to Nov. 14, according to Farside Investors. The withdrawals, my dear reader, were as sudden as a plot twist in a third-rate novel. Outflows peaked at $866.7 million on Nov. 13, wiping out the $524 million inflow from Nov. 11 faster than a socialite’s reputation at a scandalous soiree. 💸
The sage of X, with his 2.8 million disciples hanging on every word, proclaims: “I shall not part with my Bitcoin or Gold!” 🌟 Even as the market plunges into the abyss, he stands firm, a beacon of stubborn optimism in a sea of despair. His faith, one might say, is as unshakable as a Moscow winter.
In a press release on Friday, November 14, Bitmine announced Chi Tsang as the company’s new chief executive officer and a member of the board of directors, effective immediately. Tsang, founder of venture firm m1720, will be replacing Jonathan Bates, who has been CEO since 2022. One can only assume Bates was gently nudged into the sunset, or perhaps he simply forgot to renew his “I’m a CEO” license. 🧠
In this grand theater of 2025, three protagonists command the stage: Filecoin (FIL), Toncoin (TON), and Hedera (HBAR). They solve problems with the elegance of a Chekhovian subplot-storage! payments! tokenization!-while trading at prices so modest, they’d blush to attend their own debutante ball.
Crypto markets might look calmer after October’s leverage wipeout, but under the surface, liquidity remains absent. Let’s just say it’s not looking good – like a dating profile photo from 2015. 😬
In a press release that was probably not what Nevin Shetty hoped to hear, the US Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Washington confirmed that the ex-CFO was convicted for wire fraud after taking a hefty sum from his employer. The man, who hailed from the well-to-do Mercer Island, Washington, was working as the CFO of a private software company in March 2021 when he took the company’s cash and decided to try his luck in the world of cryptocurrencies.
Ah, the notorious pig-butchering scam-once the realm of simple swindles, now it’s a matter of national security! Yes, you read that right. The criminals are no longer hiding behind their greasy pig-sty deals; they’re coming for the country’s security! What a time to be alive.